Archive for April, 2011

How To Be A Pleasant, Positive Parent

Remember when you came home from work, microwaved a frozen meal for dinner, poured yourself a glass of wine, and spent the rest of the night on the couch watching TV? Like most parents, those days are long gone. Now, after a long day at work, you’re bombarded with attention-starved kids, a spouse who wants […]

More Thoughts About Alcohol

Is alcohol an upper? Yes.  Is alcohol a downer?  Yes. Can it be an upper and a downer at the same time?  Yes.  Should you worry about that?  You bet! Alcohol is a very powerful drug.  We tend to minimize that and make excuses for it because, like cigarettes, it’s perfectly legal.  Most of the […]

How to Stop and Smell the Roses

Do you ever wonder why it sometimes feels so hard to “stop and smell the roses” on the pathway of life?  People often find themselves wishing for the next chapter in life to begin, without taking time to savor what they DO have, and what is currently going on. For example, many people often tell […]

Impact of Grief on Relationships

When a couple experiences grief, it can make them stronger as an individual and as a couple. Much of the time, however, grief creates a divide between two people if they are not careful about working on their relationship throughout the grieving process. Grief results from losses, such as loss of a job, all the […]

Don’t Watch TV During Dinner (and other rules of happy families…)

Ever wonder what makes a “happy” family? Or, what your family could do differently? Do you feel like your family is missing out on something better? The following is a list of “rules” that I give to families who are looking to strengthen their relationships and create a more peaceful and loving home: Have family […]

Hurtful Comments and the Impact on Relationships

Arguing is normal between couples.  The important thing to remember about disagreements is to control your behavior during a conflict. Ask yourself about what sorts of behaviors you exhibit when you and your partner disagree and determine how this impacts the relationship. Talk to your partner and try to establish some ground rules about conflict. […]

Get Fit Together

Exercise is proven to be essential to a healthy lifestyle.  Exercise makes you feel better about yourself, increasing your self esteem and decreasing depression, anxiety, and stress. Not surprisingly, it can also improve your romantic relationships.  Getting fit alongside your partner can lead to improved quality time together, more fun in the relationship, a deeper […]

You’re One Religion, Your Partner, Another!

So you’re contemplating being together with this wonderful person. She or he is everything you’ve ever wanted.  You have compatible tastes and enjoy each other’s company.  You click. And then somehow religion comes up.  You’re X and s/he is Y, or no religion at all.  You start discussing it and you find out either she […]

Taking a Time Out to Calm Down During Conflicts

Just like we often teach children to take a time out to calm down, adults can benefit from taking a time out when they feel angry. Time outs can prevent arguments from escalating to the point where people say and do things they don’t mean. Time outs can stop the disagreement before things become abusive […]

Class Differences and Your Relationship

We Americans don’t often talk about class.  We prefer to think of ourselves as middle class or just simply free agents, choosing whatever we want to be and do.  Nevertheless, class is important in terms of all the choices we make or are made for us. As for relationships, class differences can create conflicts that […]

Listening to Your Partner

We have two ears and only one mouth, however, most people tend to talk more than they listen. Listening to your partner is very important. Improving listening skills can help a variety of marital issues.  Many arguments are due to communication problems where people do not hear what their partner is saying or they misunderstand […]

Preparing for the First Marriage Counseling Session

If you and your partner have agreed to seek marriage counseling, congratulate yourselves on your willingness to try and make changes. There are some things that couples can do to prepare for their first marriage counseling session. Prior to the first session, both partners should spend some time working individually and, if possible, spend some […]

Impact of PTSD on Relationships

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder develops in some people who have been traumatized. Trauma may include experiencing a near death situation, such as being in war or involved in a serious car accident, or it may include witnessing a traumatic event, such as seeing a horrible accident.  Abuse can cause PTSD as well.  People who endured physical […]

Can Insomnia Cause Marital Problems?

1 out of 3 people have insomnia at some point in their lives, and out of those, 60% have a chronic condition. That’s a lot of people not sleeping! Many of us (including myself) have suffered bouts of insomnia here and there, but imagine that you have not gotten more than three hours of sleep […]

Accepting Your Partner For Who They Are

In many relationships, one partner focuses on trying to “fix” the other. They put a lot of focus and energy into trying to get their partner to change. This can lead to both partners feeling angry, frustrated, and resentful. Perhaps you like to arrive early and your partner is always late. Or maybe you like […]

Preventing and Dealing with Boredom in the Relationship

Many couples report feeling bored in their relationship.  Some couples report losing the “spark” they once experienced. Couples often struggle in dealing with the stress of jobs, children, bills, lack of time, loss of energy that can drain the relationship of passion. To address this issue, couples need to evaluate themselves as individuals as well […]