By Maria C. Ramos, MS, MFT Counselor
Through my experiences in counseling couples, I have found that both males & females want exactly the same thing from their relationships. Both expect respect, acceptance, understanding, communication, reciprocated love, and time shared with their partner.
I found this surprising because the overall perception is that sex would be a main factor. While sex is undoubtedly important in relationships, the most common complaint expressed by individuals is that of not feeling “loved” or “understood” properly. Sex undoubtedly becomes a problem as a direct result of these deficiencies in the relationship. In spite of the fact that a good sexual relationship can sometimes helps to repress issues in a relationship. Sooner or later they rise to the surface in a hurry.
Once these issues do surface and are realized by the individual, the next problem is what to do about it. How do you address them with your partner? What is the answer to your problem? Is this something you can deal with alone together? Or do you need a third party to help you achieve success?
All these questions and more enter everyone’s mind at some point or another. However, many feel apprehensive at the thought of “needing” to open your heart, and lives to someone not involved in the relationship, it’s more common than you think. How many men & women find themselves venting to a close friend or confidant? We all do it; the question is how often does it really help?
While talking to a third party may help, it’s important that you choose the right person to talk to.
That’s where couples counseling by a professional Marriage & Family Therapist can help. Couples counseling brings both individuals together to address their issues, share their future expectations and begin to heal by using the family system method of working out problems.
What is the family system method?
Well, it is the way in which emotions, communication, and feelings are expressed. How were you taught to let others know how you feel? Or better yet, how do you express your affection towards another individual? These two concerns are quite essential in a relationship.
So, in allowing the couples to evaluate their communication systems and identify how they are each able to improve it helps lead the way to resolving issues.
Couples are often surprised to see how successfully they are able to address and start to resolve their problems by learning to communicate successfully.
It takes commitment from a couple to acknowledge that both need to participate and contribute in order to enrich their relationship and to let changes happen. It also shows great determination in achieving a successful partnership by seeking professional assistance. Couples therapy can be challenging, but it can also help bring about the changes needed to have a successful relationship.
While all couples want to be happy, more often it takes a little help.
Maria C. Ramos, MS. MFT
National Board Certified Anger Management Specialist
Marriage & Family Counseling PA
9495 SW 72 Street Suite B 294
Miami, Florida 33173