Sometimes people become complacent in their marriage. They think that their relationship isn’t all that fun or exciting, but it is comfortable. This can often happen after a few years of marriage. People choose to deal with this feeling differently. Some people separate believing that the grass is greener somewhere else. Other people accept mediocrity. And a small percentage of people work to improve their relationship.
Sometimes people settle for a mediocre marriage and accept that it just isn’t going to be great. They may assume that everyone else they know is “in the same boat.” They resign themselves to a life of feeling bored with their partner. They may say things such as “at least she’s a good mother.” But the passion and fire are gone.
Resigning yourself to a mediocre marriage can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you think your marriage is boring, you probably will behave in a way that ensures that it will be. You likely won’t work as hard at creating opportunities for increased intimacy, romance and excitement.
When other people find themselves in a mediocre marriage, they may begin to stray. Perhaps it is an emotional affair at the office. Or they spend a lot of time daydreaming about past relationships and romanticizing about how it could have been different. Some people choose to end the relationship, assuming someone else could make them happier. They don’t work on the relationship, instead focus on how things could be better if they weren’t with their partner.
The third option is to address the relationship by wanting to make the marriage exciting, loving, passionate and fulfilling.. People who choose this option refuse to settle for mediocrity. They strive to improve the relationship. They may read self-help books, seek therapy, attend seminars, or try new strategies to be a better partner. They work on recreating a spark and focus on steps to improve their marriage.
The stress of work, children, and lives can sometimes make people focus less on their marriage. This can lead people to feeling less connected with one another. If you are finding yourself in a mediocre marriage, consider what changes you are willing to make.