As ridiculous as it sounds, sometimes problems within the marriage can be solved by flipping a coin. If there’s an issue that needs to get resolved sooner rather than later and a discussion about it doesn’t seem to be going anywhere, this method can be helpful. Obviously, you won’t want to use this method to resolve any major issues such as whether or not to have another child, but it can be effective for solving smaller issues such as where to go on vacation.
Set a time limit to discuss a problem. For example, decide that for the next 30 minutes you and your spouse will discuss your options. Give each other time to voice your opinions and concerns. If you can’t decide at the end of 30 minutes, flip a coin and leave it up to chance. Most people, don’t like flipping a coin, and much of the time this causes them to resolve the issue within 30 minutes so they don’t get to that point. This also makes a lot of people ensure those 30 minutes are productive as they want to use each minute wisely so they don’t remain undecided and have to flip the coin.
In order for this to be successful, both partners will have to be willing to agree to the coin toss if no decision is made. The loser of the coin toss will have to agree not to interfere with the winner’s plan. Also, both partners must be willing to share the allotted 30 minutes. You may need to break that into smaller segments. For instance, each person has 10 minutes to voice their opinion and then at the end of the discussion they have 5 minutes to voice their concerns – if sharing the time equally becomes a problem.
This method can be helpful for couples who argue about many different issues. It can help people stop trying to “win” each argument. It can also show that there’s many different ways to solve the problem and that your partner’s opinions are equally valid. It can prevent people from arguing incessantly about a topic as well.