Many couples find themselves at the point of a marital crisis at some time during the marriage. Perhaps an affair is discovered. Or maybe the couple has separated. Or maybe things have dissolved to the point that neither partner is putting in any effort. Or maybe they have started talking about divorce and have contacted lawyers.
A crisis does not have to mean it is the end of the marriage. Some people think, “it’s too late now.” However, sometimes a crisis provides a much needed opportunity for a change. And change for the better is most likely what the marriage needs in order for the relationship to continue.
It is possible to use such a crisis as a wake up call. An affair does not have to signal the end of the marriage. Instead, both people can work hard to work through the associated issues. An affair does cause a lot of pain, however, when people are motivated to work through the issues. Yet, it is possible to restore the marriage.
There are ways to manage a relationship, even if you are separated. However, for many people, a separation means the end of the marriage. That’s because when they separate, they start their own lives and don’t work on the issues that lead to the separation. They view the separation as a stepping stone to divorce, which is often viewed as inevitable at that point. But if both people work on individual issues as well as issues as a couple, it is possible for a separation to help them be able to reunite successfully. However, it requires hard work and a clear goal.
Talking about divorce and talking to lawyers about it doesn’t mean it has to happen. Instead, it can be viewed as a warning. A warning that without immediate action the marriage will not likely be successful.
If you find your marriage is in crisis or nearing a state of crisis, seek help. Therapy can help you learn to how to restore your marriage and use the crisis as a means to make some much needed changes. Some people report that a crisis lead to an improved marriage as the changes they made in the aftermath were very helpful.