If you get married young before you have any real assets, it can feel much easier to share whatever you have. Sharing a used car, some old furniture, and a laptop probably isn’t that hard. However, if you get married later in life, it can be more difficult.
Perhaps you own a home and you’ve lived there a long time. How do you suddenly go from calling it “my house” to referring to it as “our house.” What if you have worked hard on building up your savings account and then when you get married your spouse wants you to put that money toward his student loan? Or worse yet, his credit card debt? Would it be harder to share then?
For people entering into second marriages, it can be even harder to share. Perhaps you felt you burned in your previous marriage and lost the majority of your assets as part of the divorce. This time, you want to make sure you get to hang on to what you’ve worked toward earning.
Sometimes in second marriages, your new spouse might not want to accept what you’re offering to share. Perhaps your wife refers to your first wife by saying, “if you lived here with her, then it really isn’t our house anyway.” Financial strain may make it difficult to move to a new home and she may have to accept that she’s living in the same house you lived in with your ex-spouse.
Marriage is supposed to be about forming a partnership. Partners work together as a team without keeping score of who earned what. If you find yourself reluctant to share what you have, take a look at the reasons you are hesitant. Look at how this is impacting your relationship. Consider what would happen if you became more willing to share your belongings equally.