The Negative Impact of Pornography on Marriage 

Pornography can be a big issue in some marriages. Often, it’s the men who want to view it and the wives who aren’t comfortable with it. It leads to some people asking, is pornography really bad for a marriage?

One of the potential problems with pornography is that it can become addictive. Watching pornographic images increases dopamine levels in the brain, just like many drugs do. This can lead to an addiction. Just like other addictions, people have to get more of it in order to satisfy their needs.

It can start to interfere with other areas of a person’s life. For example, a person may prefer spending more time watching pornography rather than spending time with friends and family. When some people really become addicted it can lead to risky behaviors such as viewing pornography at work.

It can sometimes start to replace the desire for actual intimacy. When people start to watch a lot of pornography, they may begin to prefer watching pornography over having sexual relations with their spouse. This can lead to lack of emotional intimacy as well.

Sometimes the other partner is repulsed by pornography. This can lead to fights and arguments as well as a lack of desire to have a sexual relationship. It’s hard to enjoy a sexual relationship with a person who is engaging in sexual behavior that causes repulsion.

It can cause boredom within the marriage as well. Watching various sex acts repeatedly can cause a person to have difficulty becoming aroused during normal sexual activity. Some people report that it interferes with their ability to be attracted to their spouse as well.

Pornography can be degrading to women. The way that females are portrayed in pornography is often dehumanizing, and at times, violent. Watching such images repeatedly can make having a healthy, romantic relationship very difficult.

If pornography is causing problems in your marriage, it is important to get help. If you have an addiction to pornography, therapy can help you deal with this addiction. If your spouse is watching pornography and it is causing marital problems and refuses to seek help, consider getting counseling for yourself. It can help you find ways to deal with your spouse’s behaviors.

5 Responses to “The Negative Impact of Pornography on Marriage”

  1. This is wonderful article. In my years of providing couple-counseling I have never heard anything good about pornography only bad; -only destructive. More couples need to learn about the strong potential for harm that porn represents, in every sense of the word. I’m tweeting this article to my readers! Thank you.

  2. its complicated on November 30th, 2011 at 8:55 am

    I am going thru this problem now. My husband and i have been married 2 yrs and together a total of 7 years. Before we got married once caught him in the act so i new this was going on, but our sex life was fine so it did not bother me. Now we are married and our sex life is almost non-existence and it does not seem to both him. He sometimes makes comments that sex is too much hard work and masterbating is quicker/easier. It really bothers me especially that we want kids. I just find it to be quite selfish as if i do not have needs, so am i supposed to masterbate like him, then what is the point of his companionship if hes only worried about satisfying his needs only. He really thinks there is no problem, i suggested couples counseling and hes has hes fine. So, where does that leave me? Other than mad, frustrated and depressed.

  3. My partner isn’t addicted. But that he consumes it and clearly has an interest in viewing it, has changed how I see and feel about him. I have no interest in sex at all. When he touches me I’m not repulsed, but I feel nothing. Kissing him is work. It IS easier for me if he masturbates to porn. He wants to have sex with me, though…Difficult to get excited about having sex with someone who is scrolling through the images in his head about what he’s seen with other women as the focus. I’m over sex.

  4. its complicated on January 16th, 2012 at 7:28 am

    Sasha, i am starting to feel the same way. I brought it to my husbands attention on how it makes me feel. He stopped for a bit or was more secretive but lately i saw it is picking up again. To him its not a big deal watching or looking at these imaginative women and it is very unfortunate that i have to deal with his negligence and burden of our marriage. Sometimes if feel like walking away from it all and starting over.

  5. I can speak from experience that porn totally ruins a marriage! I’ve been with my husband for nearly 20 years. We dated in high school and got married young. Started a large family right away. Peppered all throughout our relationship are my extreme bouts of depression and anger – as a result of his porn/women addictions. Our relationship has been one wild roller coaster ride, much like I’d assume it is being married to a drug or alcohol addict. There were good times and bad. When he would get caught in his porn garbage again, he would act deeply disturbed, embarrassed, apologetic and then promise to the moon and back that he would change. Well, he never did. Sure, things would get better for a while, but then he would eventually sink back to his ‘vomit’. During that process, he would do everything kind for me in other ways, to ‘show his love and commitment for me’.

    However, he was never actually and honestly loving nor committed to our marriage.

    Fast forward to 3 years ago, and he was having a straight up, one-sided emotional affair with my very own sister. He sent her flowers, showed up at her work over an hour away with expensive Christmas gifts, and finally as a last ditch effort, he wrote her a long letter, detailing his feelings for her and talking about our personal marriage problems. He was so caught up in himself and what he perceived the situation to be, that he still hasn’t noticed how truly mental and insane that situation was. His sexual addictions have warped his brain to where he doesn’t see how he comes across to other people who do not have the same problems as himself. He scared my sister so bad with his actions that she promptly packed up and moved away. She now refuses to be within a 5-mile radius of him.

    Because my husband has always had sexual addictions and has never really been interested in proper marriage boundaries, the thought of him working at an office with other young women has made me rightly nervous. He started a new job nearly 2 years ago doing just that. I asked him to tell me about each woman at the office and I also asked him to stay away from them.

    I should also admit right here that he is an absurdly wonderful pathological liar. He can get you to believe absolutely anything!

    Back to the work scene: he always told me that he would speak to me – out of courtesy to me – about other women at work. After what we had gone through with my sister, I needed all the extra assurance I could get from him. There were women of different ages that came and went from his work, but one always stood out to me for some reason. I guess a wife always knows. This woman, when he would talk about her, would make my hair raise. I just knew that he was attracted to her and that it might be only a matter of time before something happened. Was I right? Sure enough. It’s been about 2 months, and he’s left me and our children for her and her children. He has spent all of his time with her since he’s been gone, and barely stays in touch with our family. He’s tried to downplay his porn addiction now, and even now says that “that little thing that happened with your sister a few years ago was just blown out of proportion.” This new girlfriend of his [which he's refusing to admit is his actual girlfriend, even though all his time is spent with her and he's stayed overnight at her place several times. Plus they've gone out of town for fun trips and the like. He is adamantly refusing him having a real affair.] – this new GF thinks that porn is not wrong at all, and she thinks that my husband is the greatest thing since sliced bread. She knows about me and all of our children. She has several of her own children, and none of them have the same last name.

    I also just found out within the recent weeks that I’ve been given a lovely going away gift: Herpes. I’ve never even looked at another man all these years, and how is it fair that he gets to leave me for the Town Whore and I’m left holding the bag, and now with an incurable disease to boot?

    The dude has fallen off his rocker. He’s lost any and all respect and dignity that a man such as himself could have after chasing his wife’s sister. He’s failed as a husband and father. He’s failed as a man.

    I’m tired of being alone, as I have been alone for my entire relationship with this man. I’m tired of being the only one to put real, consistent effort into our marriage. And now I’m tired of being a single mother to all of our brood of children, whom I’ve always stayed home with and homeschooled. He gives us money, but even though it’s probably more than Child Enforcement would make him pay me, it’s still not enough to cover our core basic bills each month.

    Extremely frustrated and concerned. So yeah, porn – and aaaaaaaaaaaaall that that entails – sucks bad for the marriage and family damages it causes!!

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