I wrote in an earlier post that it’s better not to wait when something is going wrong in your life and/or your relationship. I suggested that you see a therapist to help you sort things out. Now I’m suggesting you bring your partner into joint therapy and suggest your partner go to her/his own therapy as well. Here’s why…
Anything that happens to you affects your partner. Your partner may not know what exactly is going on, but s/he may feel something. S/he may become unhappy, depressed, reactive, angry, irritable, and/or scared.
Your partner may be going through things of her or his own. What you’re going through and what s/he is going through may trigger each of you and cause a downward spiral in your relationship. You may have more fights and scenes. Sexual tension may build up. You may start using alcohol and other drugs to avoid pain and the issue. You may eat unhealthily. Each of these acts can aggravate the situation and cause that behavior to become the more immediate problem. One member of the couple I mentioned earlier began drinking more. Another person in another couple acted out sexually.
You and your person should not have any pride in saying: we’ll figure it out together. We’re smart people. What do we need to go to a therapist for? Besides, we don’t have the money or the time.
Going to the therapist is like going to the dentist to get your teeth in order. The longer you wait, the worse they’ll get. Go see a professional now—before your relationship falls out!