Archive for September, 2011

Taking Responsibility for Your Happiness

How much do you depend on your spouse for your personal happiness? Although your spouse should play an integral role in helping you develop a happy and healthy lifestyle, depending on your spouse for this will likely lead to disappointment. Lisa and Ryan were married for four years. Marriage wasn’t what Lisa had anticipated. She […]

Share and Share Alike

How much of your property are you willing to share? Many people say “what’s mine is yours,” however, they don’t behave this way. Do you get joy out of sharing your belongings with your spouse? If you get married young before you have any real assets, it can feel much easier to share whatever you […]

Some Help with Eating Too Much….

I don’t want to get into a debate over causes of  obesity and all the reasons why people become overweight.  I do have some thoughts about helping in terms of weight control.  For many years I have been working on doing psychological assessments for people who are thinking of going through  gastric bypass or laparoscopic […]

What Role Do Your Friends Play Now That You are Married?

Determining what role your friends will play in your life after you’re married can be difficult for some people. Perhaps, you always spent Friday night with your pals and you wonder, should this continue? Or maybe you struggle to deal with the amount of time your spouse spends with friends. Learning to set healthy boundaries […]

Changing Your Description of Your Spouse

What adjectives would you use to describe your spouse? How would you describe his personality? His behaviors? His attitude and outlook on life? The way you view your partner can have a big impact on the marriage. Carl and Ashley had been married for four years. Carl liked things to be neat and orderly, while […]

Getting Along with Another Couple

Years ago I was part of a couple.  We were friends with another couple.  We thought of sharing a house.  So, we went to some meetings and shared a suite.  I put the newspaper I was reading down on my bed.  That offended the woman in the other couple. “You just don’t do that!—you put […]

Looking For Evidence Your Partner is Not Compatible

Sometimes a person decides that he’s married the wrong person. He thinks the marriage cannot be saved because he and his wife have too many differences. He thinks he made a mistake when he got married and must have been so blinded by his infatuation that he overlooked her flaws. He stays married to her […]

Do You Trust Your Spouse’s Ability to Make Good Decisions?

How much do you trust that your spouse can make good decisions? Do you ever worry that in your absence, your spouse will not make good decisions? Do you tend to argue about the choices your spouse has made? If you don’t trust that your partner can make good decisions, it is important to examine […]

Movies and TV on Marriages, Generations, etc.

First, a disclaimer:  I do not have any financial investment nor do I profit from the movies or TV shows I’m going to recommend in this post.  There are two movies going around right now that I think raise issues for heterosexual couples and their children that are worth bringing to your attention.   They raise […]

When One Spouse Becomes More Like a Parent than a Partner

Some marriages develop into relationships where one spouse becomes more like a parent rather than an equal partner. One person clearly becomes “in charge” and makes the majority of the decisions. The other person’s opinions are not taken into consideration and he is treated like a child. Bob and Jane had been married for ten […]

Listen to Your Voice of Reason

When people become emotional, they sometimes overreact. They may behave in ways they normally wouldn’t. Perhaps they behave irrationally or say things that just don’t make much sense. Despite their emotions being high, they still have that voice of reason somewhere in the back of their head. However, people sometimes choose to ignore it. For example, an argument […]

In A Crisis, Ask For Help And Love!

A client came in recently and mentioned that his wife was spaced out.  Why?  Her sister has cancer. He said he was doing the best he could to deal with his wife.  I asked him what he wanted.  He looked surprised.  Why?  Because she’s your sister in law. You must have feelings about her.  When […]

Setting Healthy Boundaries for the Marriage

The boundaries that a couple sets with their extended family and friends is very important to the relationship. A couple who doesn’t set enough boundaries may feel frustrated when others infringe on their rights as a couple. A couple with too many boundaries may feel isolated. Determining how to set appropriate boundaries for your marriage can help […]

Your Relationship with Your In-Laws

Building and maintaining a relationship with your spouse’s family requires some work. Research studies show that having a good relationship with your in-laws can make for a happier marriage. If you haven’t had a good relationship with your in-laws, it’s not too late to work on repairing the relationship. Focus on what you have in common […]

How to Find a Marriage Counselor

Finding a marriage counselor can be tricky if you don’t know what you’re looking for. There’s lots of different types of counselors and all the initials after people’s names can be confusing. Some people avoid entering into counseling because they don’t know where to start. Counselor credentials include titles such as LCSW (licensed clinical social […]

How to Get the Most Out of Marriage Counseling

There are some tips and strategies that can help you maximize the benefits you will receive from marriage counseling. If you and your spouse have agreed to go to counseling together, it is important to have realistic expectations of counseling and a clear idea on how to benefit from treatment. Think about what you are willing […]