The Truth about Falling out of Love

78466450Falling in love is easy. It’s the staying in love part that is difficult. The emotions involved with falling in love can make you feel like you’re on top of the world. However, that giddy, heart-skipping-a-beat sort of love doesn’t last forever. Without taking steps to acquire a mature love, you can fall out of love just as easily as you fell in love.

Falling in Love

Falling in love is a passive experience that just happens naturally. You don’t need to put in any extra energy or effort. You can just idly get swept off your feet without having to do anything. Read the rest of this article »

How Do You Determine the Health of Your Marriage?

86487478Have you ever considered how to determine how good or healthy your marriage is? There isn’t a lab test or a thermometer that gives you a reading to tell you how you are doing. So, how do people know if their marriage is healthy or not?

Unfortunately, for some people, they have no idea what their own determining factors would be, say nothing about their spouse’s determining factors. Sometimes people are completely blown away when their spouse mentions divorce. They thought things were going just fine, but apparently their spouse didn’t. It is important to examine how you would know if your marriage is good or bad and to see if these things are in line with your spouse’s view of the relationship.

I’m Happy so It Must Be Good

Some people judge their marital satisfaction based on their happiness with their life in general. They think, “If I’m happy then my marriage must be good.” Their sources of happiness may be their work, extended family, or other external factors and they assume is going well.

We’re Weathering the Good Times and the Bad

Other people don’t think that happiness equates to marital satisfaction. Instead, they look for how they are handling the bad times. If they are taking the good and the bad and making it through together, they assume their marriage is in a good place. The general thinking is that if my spouse is here for me when I’m dealing with grief, tragedy and problems, we must have a good marriage. Read the rest of this article »

10 Little Changes that Can Make a Big Impact on Your Marriage

African American Couple Laying On The Floor With Rose Petal 2Improving a marriage doesn’t always require a gigantic intervention. Instead, changing little daily habits can make a big difference in how you feel about your marriage and most importantly, how you behave toward your spouse. Whether you want to keep your marriage healthy or you need to reignite a spark, change some of your daily habits and you’ll be more likely to experience marital bliss.

1. Treat Your Bedroom Like a Romantic Retreat

The ambiance in your bedroom can either spark romance or put out any passionate fires. If you’ve got a child sleeping between you, clothes piled up to the ceiling or sheets that haven’t been replaced in a decade, you’re not likely going to feel an air of romance when you enter the room.  Many couples who take great pride in all other areas of their homes tend to neglect the master bedroom. However, if you want to spark some romance, put energy into fixing up and cleaning the master bedroom. A little paint on the walls, some new sheets and a lot of organizing can go a long way to putting the mood back in the bedroom. Read the rest of this article »

What to do When You’re Thinking About Ending the Marriage

147915033If you’ve found yourself straddling the fence and it feels like your only two options are to stay in an unsatisfying relationship or get divorced, it’s a tough place to be. It’s also a critical time where your immediate actions can make a big difference to the outcome of your marriage.  Hopefully, the third option is to improve your marriage and enjoy your relationship once again.

Examine What Needs to Change

You can’t fix the problem until you’ve really taken the time to identify what the problem is. Simply deciding, “I’m just not happy,” doesn’t offer much of an opportunity to fix the problem. However, if you can identify concrete reasons why you aren’t happy, it’ll be a much better start. Read the rest of this article »

5 Signs that You May Have an Anger Problem

156794284Anger isn’t a bad emotion. However, the behaviors that people exhibit when they feel angry can make it a problem. Anger problems are at the root of many marital issues.

Sometimes people aren’t aware that their anger is a problem (but often others around them are). The extent of an anger problem can be based on the intensity and the frequency of angry outbursts. Anger always becomes a problem when it starts to interfere with everyday life. Read the rest of this article »

How Divorce Impacts Children

120726847Sometimes couples considering divorce minimize how much of an impact getting divorced would have on their children. Children of all ages are affected when parents separate and divorce. It can affect their relationships, school and behavior.

Although most experts agree that if you’re constantly fighting, staying together for the sake of the children isn’t a healthy option. Instead, a better option is to learn how to get a long and keep the family intact when possible. For parents who do choose to divorce, it’s essential that they look at the drastic impact it can have on their children. Read the rest of this article »

Emotions are Contagious: What Does this Mean for Your Marriage?

139393848Emotions can actually be like a bad cold. Spend enough time with others, and you’re likely to catch whatever they have (or feel). It’s important to take a look at how this can impact your relationship.

What the Research Says

For decades researchers have been studying how our emotions rub off on others. What they’ve found is what a lot of people have already noticed; we tend to develop similar emotions to the people around us. Read the rest of this article »

A Trip to the Grand Canyon means Fun, Romance, and Adventure

106459071If you’ve spent any time in America’s National Parks, you probably know that each and every one of them has something special to offer, from amazing history to natural formations that’ll blow your mind. Everyone has their own favorite National Park, and usually for a variety of reasons, but ask just about anyone who’s visited a large number of the parks which is the most beautiful and, without a doubt, the Grand Canyon National Park will often be the answer.

It’s easy to understand why! Regardless of season, there’s always plenty to see and do at the Grand Canyon, whether you’re just interested in snapping photos and watching the sunrise, or are the type who wants to literally “get in deep” and explore the landscape of this breathtaking destination. You can spend just a few hours at the canyon or you can spend days there. All will depend on what your wish to accomplish while you’re there. Read the rest of this article »

11 Common Problems that Marriage Counselors Can Help With

153737655There are lots of reasons that couples may decide to seek help and get marriage counseling. There are some common themes that marriage counselors encounter when couples seek help for their marriage. Most marriage counselors are comfortable addressing and helping couples deal with these problems, but certainly there are many other common marital issues that can be addressed in counseling as well.

1. Remarriage and Blended Families

After people have already been divorced once, they are more likely to be a little nervous about getting remarried. And according to statistics, rightly so. The divorce rates for second marriages are even higher than first marriages. And for couples who already have kids, blending two families can be complicated. Marriage counselors can assist couples in making a smoother transition and also overcoming obstacles and barriers to remarriage. Read the rest of this article »

Should You Lend Money to Family and Friends?

83217859If you’ve managed to be the “go to couple” when people need money, the good news, it means you are likely good with your money. Responding to friends and family members who ask to borrow money can be a sticky situation.

It can be difficult to say no when someone asks you for money.  Money can ruin many relationships with loved ones. Unfortunately, it can also cause a lot of marital problems. Before a couple decides whether or not to loan money, they should work consider the potential risks.

Loaning Money and Marital Problems- An Example Read the rest of this article »

The Good Marriage

86544528Amor vincit omnia.

Love conquers all.

The good marriage.  Is it possible?  Do you want it?  Do you want to keep it?  These are the ways.

Love does conquer all.  But, it is not that romantic surge of love, which is sufficient, but rather the love that draws things and people rightly together.  Read the rest of this article »

4 Ways to Improve Your Communication Patterns

153195330When it comes to a couple’s communication, habits are formed and patterns are created. It can be difficult to change these patterns once they are set. However, when patterns are unhealthy, it can make marital satisfaction decline quickly.

Unhealthy communication patterns can lead to a lot of hurt, anger, misunderstanding and unresolved conflict. Whether a couple tends to bicker, yell, jump to conclusion or just not listen to one another, it will take a toll on the marriage over time.

The good news is, there are some ways to change these communication patterns. Change won’t happen overnight. It takes time to develop these patterns and it will take time to develop healthier habits, but it can be done.

Read the rest of this article »

Ways to Bring Back Those Loving Feelings

87462546After years of marriage a couple runs the risk of becoming more like roommates rather than romantic lovers. Household chores, caring for children, stress related to work, and dealing with finances can cause those loving feelings to dwindle over time if they aren’t addressed. Sometimes people don’t bother to try and rekindle those feelings after they’ve lost them.

The good news is there are plenty of things couples can do to help bring back those loving feelings. The best way to change how you feel about something is to change your thoughts and your behaviors. When you think differently and do things differently you will feel differently. This is especially true when you change how you think about your spouse and how you behave toward your spouse.  Making some small changes can make a big difference in how you feel. Read the rest of this article »

Don’t Allow Electronics to Interfere with Your Marriage

159205570We’re living in an age where we have electronic tools that were only dreamed about by past generations. Things we never thought possible have become part of our everyday lives. Within the past 15 years, the technological advances available to us have skyrocketed so fast that most of us can’t keep up.

Many of these new electronic tools and gadgets are supposed to make communication easier. Email, text messaging, and cell phones should make it so we can be in constant contact with anyone we wish. Sounds like it should really improve our communication.

The truth is, electronics seem to be causing problems for a lot of married couples. Instead of helping communication, they seem to be a barrier. Instead of allowing for more time together, they seem to be taking away quality time together for many couples. Instead of making work easier, it seems it encourages many people to take their work home with them.

Having access to the latest technology isn’t a bad thing and it doesn’t have to be bad for your marriage. It is important however, to set some limits with your spouse and to monitor your usage. Taking some proactive steps to address your usage of electronics can be very helpful to your relationship. Read the rest of this article »

Should You Tell People if You Are Experiencing Infertility Problems?

99511485Infertility is a very private issue, however, when people are suffering with it, gaining support can be very important. So many couples wonder, should we tell anyone if we are having infertility problems?  There are certainly pros and cons to revealing this very intimate issue with others and there are steps couples can take to ensure that they are making a good choice when talking about it to others.

Potential Problems with Revealing It

One of the biggest issues in revealing any infertility problems you are having is how others are likely to respond. Sometimes people make comments and gives suggestions that just aren’t all that supportive. For example, if your grandmother says, “I know a good home-made cure that will guarantee pregnancy,” it isn’t likely to be helpful. Read the rest of this article »

The Dangers of Negative Thinking

146835613Negative thinking can take a toll on your mood, your outlook on life, and your marriage. Some people are just more prone to negative thoughts, however, it doesn’t mean you are destined to think negatively your whole life. There are steps you can take to address your negative thoughts and improve the quality of your life.

What Constitutes a Negative Thought?

Negative thoughts aren’t realistic. For example, if you are behind on your bills, it’s realistic to think, “I have serious money problems.” But a negative thought would be something like, “I won’t ever be able to pay my bills. I’m a failure.” Read the rest of this article »

3 Healthy Boundaries to Set With Your Parents After You’re Married

125556296Parents and in-laws can play a big role in marital satisfaction. The boundaries you set, or don’t set, will impact your relationship in many ways. A lack of boundaries can certainly cause a lot of marital strife and sadly, can lead to divorce.

There are lots of reasons why people don’t set boundaries with their parents. Sometimes it is a lack of understanding of healthy boundaries. Someone who grew up in a really enmeshed family may not think it’s intrusive for his parents to want to be involved in the major decisions in the marriage. However, if his spouse has different ideas, it can lead to a lot of conflict. Read the rest of this article »

10 Important Things to Remember About Marriage

162704613When it comes to relationships, there’s a lot of advice out there about what you should do differently or how you can make your divorce-proof your marriage. However, a lot of marital satisfaction has more to do with your attitude rather than anything else. Keeping your attitude in the right place can help you to have realistic expectations of your relationship and can improve marital satisfaction.

1. All Couples Have Problems

All couples have differences and that’s not a bad thing. If marriage were really easy, it wouldn’t help us grow as individuals or as a couple. The way you address your problems is what has the capacity to be a problem. Learning how to negotiate, cope and work together can make your marriage stronger. Read the rest of this article »

What to Do if Your Spouse has Depression

160510183Depression can take a toll on a marriage. When one partner is depressed it certainly impacts the other spouse. There are things that you can do if your spouse is depressed to help maintain your own mental health and also help the marriage.

Understand the Illness

Try not to take your spouse’s depression personally. Sometimes people think they can cheer up a depressed person or that their love alone will cure the depression. However, depression usually requires treatment in order to be resolved. Tradition treatment may come in the form of therapy, medication or a combination of the two. Read the rest of this article »

The Seven Stages of Marriage

139488197There are lots of different theories about relationship phases and stages. The book, The 7 Stages of Marriage by Sari Harrar and Rita DeMaria is an excellent resource that really seems to grasp how marriage changes over time. It not only describes the changes but how to take action during each stage to ensure the health of your relationship.

As a couple grows and their lives change, the marriage is bound to change as well. As a couple moves through the different phases of life, they can expect their intimacy and communication to change as well. Understanding the different stages can help couples recognize what is normal and when there’s a problem. Read the rest of this article »