Archive for March, 2012

How to stop arguments before they begin: Avoid the Yabbit

Many couples who come to therapy often complain of “communication problems.” For example, she’ll complain that he gets mad too much and yells. Or he’ll complain she gives him the silent treatment too much. They agree that if they could only communicate better their marital problems would decrease. As a therapist, there is one communication […]

No Place Says “Romance” Like Venice, Italy!

You’ve seen the photos. You’ve heard the stories about moonlit gondola rides through the canals and hand-in-hand strolls down dimly lit streets surrounded by grand buildings that speak of a rich and sometimes tumultuous history. But unless you’ve been to Venice, you don’t really understand the feeling you get when you cross the Bridge of […]

Is Job Satisfaction Related to Marital Satisfaction?

If you dislike your job, is it possible that it is going to affect your marriage? Or do you think that you can separate work enough from your home life that it won’t matter? There’s several different ways that job stress can impact your home life, including your marriage. Mood The daily grind at a […]

Self-Talk and Your Marriage

What you think about your mate really impacts your marriage. What you say to yourself influences how you view yourself, your marriage, and the world. Learning how to recognize and monitor your self-talk can have a huge impact on your marital satisfaction and the quality of your relationship. Learning to talk to yourself in a […]

Stress and Stressors: What’ll we do?

Allison is facing the death of an aging parent, pressure from work, personal health problems, and loneliness. This is all taking a toll on her in terms of increased anxiety, decreased sleep, and persistent headaches. She wonders just how long she can keep up with all the stress and the stressors coming at her at […]

Children with Asperger’s and High School

I’ve written a number of posts about helping children and adults with Asperger’s.  These are some thoughts about the high school period. High school can be especially challenging for kids with Asperger’s Syndrome.  Like other students, an Aspie has to change classes regularly during the day and throughout the school year.  She or he can […]

Experience the “New” Berlin on a Second Honeymoon to Germany’s Capital City

If Europe is on your itinerary for a second honeymoon but you prefer to pass on the major tourist towns like London, Rome, and Paris, why not ponder a destination that’s considered one of the up-and-coming hot spots on the continent? Berlin, Germany’s capital, is becoming more and more popular with visitors to Europe. It […]

If you can’t Change Your Marriage, Change the way you think About It

There are problems within the marriage that are meant to be solved. Then, there are other problems that are not going to be fixed. These sorts of problems may be differences in values or beliefs, or may be personality differences. Just because these aren’t likely to change doesn’t mean your marriage is doomed. Instead, you […]

Importance of Dealing with Childhood Abuse

Although many people who were abused as children want to leave the past in the past, it is important for your marriage that you address childhood abuse. Whether you were physically, sexually, emotionally abused or neglected, it can impact you in lots of ways if it is not dealt with. It can interfere with intimacy, […]

Don’t cut off your Nose to spite Your Face in Your Marriage

The saying “don’t cut off your nose to spite your face” refers to seeking revenge in a way that is self-destructive. Doing so often causes more problems for the person seeking revenge rather than the intended victim. Many people tend to get into these patterns of self-destruction where they mistakenly make their own situation worse. […]

A Romantic Rendezvous in the City by the Bay

Most travel experts agree…no American city is more romantic than San Francisco. Since 1954, when singer Tony Bennett proclaimed the fact that he “left his heart” in the hilly city by the Bay, flocks of couples have been making their way to this Northern California destination, intent on sharing some memorable moments with each other. […]

Should You Put Your Marriage Before Your Kids?

Many couples live in a world that is completely child-centered. Their relationship revolves around the childrens’ needs and activities. Of course, it is great to see a couple working together to raise a family. However, some couples fall into the trap of making their entire marriage only about the children. There is research that shows […]

Affordable Marriage Counseling Provides Hope for Couples in Crisis

While marriage counseling has long been a way for couples to reconnect and work out their problems, the cost of marriage counseling frequently scares couples away. The good news is, marriage counseling doesn’t have to cost as much as it did before the recession. The recent economic downturn has created tough financial times which inevitably […]

Dealing with and Preventing Resentment in your Marriage

If you find that you have grown angry and resentful toward your spouse, it is important to address it immediately. Anger and resentment stem from a variety of issues. If you don’t address the underlying cause, the problem is likely to get worse. Not Getting Your Needs Met If you feel like your needs are […]

Four Ways That Money Can Lead To Marital Problems

Money is often cited as one of the biggest reasons a couple gets divorced. Many couples mistakenly believe that if they just had a little more money they wouldn’t have as many problems. However, couples with all different income levels still fight about money.  Money can lead to a variety of marital problems if it […]

How Your Behaviors After an Argument are Important to your Marriage

What you do after an argument is much more important than what you actually argued about. The behaviors you exhibit following conflict, determine how the two of you will feel about each other. It also impacts how you will approach conflict in the future. For example, if after an argument the two of you can […]

Asperger’s Kids and High School-Organizational Issues

In several posts I talked about kids with Asperger’s. I want to look at the issues kids face in High School and some suggestions for helping them. Your child will face many challenges in High School.  One major challenge is that s/he will go to many more different classes and activities.  Aspies often do not […]

The Dangers of Daydreaming about Divorce

One of the problems with divorce is that by the time someone gets around to doing it, they’ve usually spent a lot of time thinking about it. Depending on the relationship issues, they may have been thinking about it silently or they may have threatened it frequently. Although it is good to think through major […]

Early Puberty—Boys

Several posts ago I wrote about the effects of early puberty on girls.  This post is about the effects of early puberty on boys.  I have included some suggestions. More and more, boys are experiencing early puberty.  I have worked with boys as young as nine going through this phase.  There are many reasons for […]

Improve Your Habits and Reignite the Spark in Your Marriage

After a few years of seeing your spouse everyday, you might not experience the same sexual spark of excitement that you used to experience when you were dating. It is normal for some of this to fade over time as your brain chemistry actually changes when you first fall in love. When your brain chemistry […]