Archive for February, 2012

Periodically Review Your Family Finances

Although discussing money may not be the most romantic conversation in the world, it is important to periodically review your family’s finances. As things change over the years, your budget and your financial needs are likely to change too.  It’s important to discuss your goals and your current financial status and make necessary changes. As […]

Early Puberty for Girls

Many scientists, clinicians, and social observers have seen a rise in children—both girls and boys– going through puberty at an early age.  It used to be that puberty happened around 12-15. Better health and food has accounted for some of these changes.  Other causes are less easy to figure out.  For a parent and a […]

Excuses People Use to Avoid Marriage Counseling

People offer a variety of reasons for not wanting to go to marriage counseling. It’s important to consider your reasons to determine if there is actually a bigger underlying problem. For example, sometimes people use excuses because they are afraid to change or don’t want to face the facts. But other times, people do genuinely […]

Marital Satisfaction and Personal Happiness

Sometimes people assume that the only way they can be happy in life is to have an ideal marriage. They believe their satisfaction with life hinges solely on how happy they are in their relationship. This sort of thinking can be dangerous and actually can be harmful to your marriage. The Cycle Every marriage is […]

The Impact of Grief on Marriage

Grief is a difficult process that impacts every area of your life, including your marriage. The grieving process is important, as it is part of the healing process. If people don’t grieve, they don’t work through their feelings of loss. It is important to keep a careful watch for how the grieving process is impacting […]

Misconceptions about Nagging

Many people tend to nag their spouse. Often, they don’t recognize how harmful it can be to the marriage. Psychological studies have shown that nagging doesn’t work and it certainly isn’t helpful for either partner. There are many misconceptions about nagging that cause people to continue nagging their partner, even when they aren’t getting results. […]

Strategies for Dividing Up the Household Chores

Sometimes people think it is major conflict that leads to divorce. However, most studies show that the day to day stress about money and the division of labor are main factors that contribute to marital discord. When the household duties are not managed well as a couple, the stress can take a toll over time. […]

Marriage and Anxiety pt 2 – How Anxiety Begins

We learn to be anxious and we can unlearn it. We’re introduced to Marlene whose father died and whose mother worked so she had to take care of younger siblings. Being young herself, she was nervous about their safety. This was the beginning of a lifetime of anxiety.

Marriage and Anxiety pt 1: Not a Chemical Imbalance

We learn to be anxious and we can unlearn it. It begins with negative thoughts that we may not even be aware of. The job is to think about what triggered the anxiety and track it back to those thoughts. If we don’t do this, we stand to make our partners nervous too. Then the […]

Asperger’s Syndrome and Adult Work Life

I have posted a number of pieces about children and Asperger’s Syndrome.  The last piece was about children and primary school.  I will be posting additional pieces about secondary school and university. I am writing this piece out of order because of some letters I read. They are from people with Asperger’s and they concern […]

Second Honeymoon Adventure Abounds in Exciting Costa Rica

Blessed with beautiful tropical beaches, unique ecosystems, active volcanoes, rolling rivers, and enough adventure to keep even extreme vacationers happy, Costa Rica has become one of the most popular tourist destinations of the twenty-first century. A few decades ago, however, most travelers probably wouldn’t have given it a second thought. Situated below Nicaragua – a […]

Balancing Your Needs and Your Spouse’s Needs

When it comes to marriage, much of the advice seems to be a paradox. Although it may seem like a lot of marital advice is in conflict with other tips, it shows the delicate balance that is necessary in marriage. A happy and healthy marriage requires that you take care of yourself while at the […]

Conflict Resolution: It C.A.N. be done!

Scott thinks a dream vacation is camping, but his wife would much rather visit relatives.  The vacation date is getting closer and they have not been able to agree.  Now what? All marriages have conflict. We disagree over big things and small things. We find ourselves squabbling about everything from how to channel surf to […]

Issues for Children with Asperger’s Syndrome at School

I’ve written earlier suggestions regarding children with Asperger’s Syndrome. I have some other suggestions for school.  Here are a few: At this time, despite the controversy surrounding the redefinition of Asperger’s in the new DSM 5—and you should be paying attention to that in your local newspapers—primary schools seem to be more accommodating to Aspies.  […]

Developing a Plan to Deal with Your Extended Family and In-Laws

A couple’s extended family can either support the marriage, be a neutral force, or they can add stress to the relationship. It’s important to learn that although you can’t control their behaviors, you can control how you respond to them. It is possible to have a happy and healthy marriage even if you have difficult […]

Marriage and Depression, pt. 3: Getting Your Needs Met

In the first article in this series, I introduced you to Maurice and Ella. Maurice is depressed because he got let go from a big firm and has been out of work. At first, he thought he would find a new job, but time has elapsed and he is becoming more and more despondent. Ella, […]

The Importance of Treating Anxiety Disorders

Everyone experiences anxiety from time to time. However, people with anxiety disorders experience higher levels of anxiety. Their anxiety can interfere with their daily life and create a variety of problems, including marriage problems. If you or your spouse experiences problems with anxiety, it is important to learn about it so you can decide how […]

Parenting Step-Children in a Blended Family

The Brady Bunch made it look easy to blend two families. However, in real life, it usually doesn’t go so smoothly. Blending two families together into one can be very difficult and without appropriate care, there can be a lot of conflict. Becoming a step-parent is a difficult job. Developing a relationship with step-children can […]

Learning How to Recognize and Replace Angry Thoughts

What you think about influences your mood. When you feel angry, you can either dwell on your angry thoughts or try to replace your thoughts with more rational ones. It is important to look at the sorts of angry thoughts you tend to have when you are upset and then learn how to replace those […]

Marriage & Depression, pt 2: The Paradox of Depression

In an earlier article, I talked about Maurice, who is depressed, and his wife, Ella. I described the dilemma his depression puts Ella in. On the one hand, she gets the short end of the stick because her husband’s depression will bring her down, too. On the other hand, she can’t really do much about […]