Archive for the 'Self Help' Category

The Dangers of Negative Thinking

Negative thinking can take a toll on your mood, your outlook on life, and your marriage. Some people are just more prone to negative thoughts, however, it doesn’t mean you are destined to think negatively your whole life. There are steps you can take to address your negative thoughts and improve the quality of your […]

What to Do if Your Spouse has Depression

Depression can take a toll on a marriage. When one partner is depressed it certainly impacts the other spouse. There are things that you can do if your spouse is depressed to help maintain your own mental health and also help the marriage. Understand the Illness Try not to take your spouse’s depression personally. Sometimes […]

Changing Bad Habits Can Improve Your Marriage

It’s possible to get into the habit of having bad habits! As strange as that sounds, it can be easy to sink into a rut. Bad habits tend to come in bunches and it can be hard to get out of them. However, changing your bad habits can help you change your marriage. How Bad […]

What Makes you Hard to Live With?

People often look at their spouse’s quirks and characteristics that make the other person hard to live with without taking a peak at their own qualities. Sometimes, it’s a good thing to ask yourself, “Am I hard to live with?” Gaining some insight into your on quirks can go a long way in helping you […]

5 Steps to Build Trust in a Marriage

Building trust takes time; however, losing trust only takes an instant. It is important to work on continually building trust in the marriage in order to have a healthy, happy relationship. If you’ve ever lost trust, re-building it takes time and energy. Learn how to build lasting trust in your relationship. 1. Spend Quality Time Together […]

Characteristics of Happy Marriages

People behave differently depending on whether they are satisfied or dissatisfied with their marriage. The interactions between a couple can improve the marriage or contribute to further dissatisfaction. Couples who are happy with their marriage focus on the positive. If nine good things occurred between them, and one bad thing, they’ll focus on the good. […]

How What You Learned About Anger as a Kid Impacts Your Marriage

When you were a kid you learned about yourself, your family and the world around you. The way you were taught to deal with emotions, such as anger, impacted your brain as you grew and developed into an adult. The good news is, if you learned some unhealthy ways to deal with anger as a […]

10 Strategies to Improve Your Intimacy in the Marriage

Emotional intimacy is important part of keeping a marriage healthy. When a couple increases their intimacy, they often find their communication improves and their conflict decreases. It’s never too late to start trying to work on your intimacy. Follow these strategies to help improve the intimacy in your marriage. Schedule a Date Night Date nights […]

Financial Boundaries Within the Marriage

Boundaries within the marriage are very important to the relationship. Determining what should be kept private between the couple versus what is told to the outside world makes a big impact. Finances are an issue that some people prefer to remain very private about, while other people don’t mind sharing some personal financial information. For […]

Learning How to Manage Your Stress to Improve Your Marriage

Stress takes a toll on your mood, your health and your relationships if you don’t learn how to manage your stress level. It is important to recognize when your stress level is increasing. Learning how to manage your stress is imperative to improving your quality of life and maintaining the health of your marriage. Everyone […]

2 Steps to Increase Your Loving Feelings Toward Your Spouse

Ever heard a person say that they just “fell out of love?” When you hear someone say that do you think “Oh that can happen?” Or do you think something more like, “That’s too bad they didn’t work hard enough?” The truth is, love isn’t something that just happens on its own. It also doesn’t […]

Best Marriage Self-Help Books

Self-help books can be a great way to help enhance your marriage. Although they shouldn’t be considered a replacement for traditional marriage counseling, they can certainly be very helpful to people struggling with specific marital issues or for people who want to strengthen and enhance their relationship. However, it can be difficult to know where […]

You May Be Getting Older…

I recently watched The Bucket List with Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman again.  It reminded me that we often refuse to recognize that we’re getting older. Consequently, we get into trouble because we refuse to deal with it.  So, if you’re over forty, here are some suggestions: The most important one is to realize that […]

Every Couple has Problems, but when do we Need Counseling?

Just about every time a couple comes into me for counseling, they probably should have come to see me about a year ago. Usually, the problem they’re coming to see me for started about a year ago and they’re just now coming to see me for it. I used to ask why they waited so […]

Jumping to the Wrong Conclusion

Our reactions to events are based on core beliefs we’ve developed about ourselves and the world. Based on past experiences, including childhood experiences, people develop these underlying beliefs. People’s underlying beliefs can cause them to incorrectly interpret their partner’s behaviors and can cause marital problems. For example, a husband comes home from work early. One […]

The Impact of ADHD on a Marriage

Many people mistakenly believe that people outgrow Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). However, ADHD doesn’t go away when people reach adulthood. Many adults with ADHD report that their symptoms have changed over the years, but haven’t gone away. If you or your partner has ADHD it is important to learn about how it is likely […]

Time-Out as a Tool to Dissolve Anger and Save Your Marriage

Time-out is a simple, yet very effective tool that can help couples manage their conflict in much healthier ways. Learning how to use time-out effectively can help improve the quality of the marriage. It can also prevent damaging the relationship as it assists each person in calming down before they blurt out those hurtful things […]

Finding Your Purpose In Life Can Improve Your Marriage

Knowing your unique role and feeling like you have a sense of purpose is bound to make you a better partner. Finding deeper meaning in your life can allow your relationship to skyrocket to a new level. However, many people feel as if they have no idea what their purpose in life is. This can leave […]

Healthy Versus Unhealthy Anger in a Marriage

Feeling angry isn’t bad. However, the choices you make in expressing yourself when you are angry can make a big difference in the health of your marriage. It is important to determine if you are making healthy or unhealthy choices when you feel angry. Learning how to use your anger to make positive change can […]

Self-Talk and Your Marriage

What you think about your mate really impacts your marriage. What you say to yourself influences how you view yourself, your marriage, and the world. Learning how to recognize and monitor your self-talk can have a huge impact on your marital satisfaction and the quality of your relationship. Learning to talk to yourself in a […]