Archive for June, 2011

The Importance of Physical Touch

People tend to recognize the importance of physical touch when it comes to babies and children. Infants are held much of the time. Many cultures place babies in a sling so they can be held close to their parent all the time. Children are given hugs and kisses regularly. However, many people underestimate the importance […]

Creating Positive Memories for a Happier Marriage

Creating positive memories throughout your marriage is very important. Relationships can be like a bank account. You can make any withdrawals unless you have made deposits. Deposits are the positive things that occur within the marriage. Withdrawals are the more difficult parts of the marriage. Creating positive memories makes deposits within the relationship bank. When […]

How Do Stereotypes Impact Your Marriage?

It’s important to identify what sorts of stereotypes impact your beliefs about the man’s role and the woman’s role within the marriage. People develop beliefs about roles within the marriage based on what sorts of relationships they witnessed within their own family. Stereotypes also develop based on media images. Children look to their parent’s relationship […]

How to Respond When Your Partner Uses Unfair Fighting Tactics

There may be times that you find yourself having a conflict with your partner and he uses some “dirty tricks” instead of fighting fair. Perhaps he isn’t willing to work on solving the issue or maybe he’s behaving in a way that is unacceptable. Maybe you are trying to remain calm and use the skills […]

Technology and Cheating

Most couples never sit down and discuss what specifically constitutes cheating within their relationship. However, different couples consider different things to be an act of infidelity. It’s important to recognize what you would consider to be unacceptable behaviors. In an age of increased technology, there are many more opportunities for couples to engage in secret […]

Quality Conversations

When people are dating, they tend to talk a lot about themselves, their goals, their history, and their feelings. However, for many couples, years of marriage can cause communication to become more like a business deal. Conversations may become centered around schedules, household responsibilities, and financial decisions. Lack of quality conversation can have a negative […]

Mort Fertel’s Marriage Fitness: Best Program of 2011

There are many marriage counseling alternative self-help programs on the market these days, and I’ve been fortunate enough to review nearly all of them. The one I like the best so far is Mort Fertel’s “Marriage Fitness,” so I’ve decided to name it the “2011 Best Marriage Self Help Program.” One of the things I […]

Upside Down, Goofy Thinking Doesn’t Make Your Marriage Work Better.

Here’s what I mean: If you told a potential boss you would not embezzle  money from them if they hired you, do you think they would hire you?  Or, if the person at the daycare where you leave your kids every day said to you, “I’m a good daycare person because I do not molest […]

Ensuring Compatibility Prior to Getting Married

Many couples spend countless hours planning their wedding day. However, a lot of those same couples don’t spend nearly as much time planning their marriage together. It is very important for couples to talk about their goals, values, and hopes and dreams prior to getting married to ensure that these will be compatible with their […]

Looking for Exceptions

Sometimes people develop a negative attitude about their relationship and become convinced that some things are never going well or are always bad. By looking for exceptions to the rule, it can offer you some insight into what has helped in the past. Exceptions show situations where things were not the way they usually are. […]

Scheduling Times to Resolve Conflicts

Sometimes couples have a re-occurring disagreement. This can start to impact the good times in the relationship because the subject causing distress always comes up. It can become very frustrating and both people can begin to feel like nothing ever gets accomplished. In these cases, it may make sense to schedule a time to talk about these […]

Focus on What Works

Even bad marriages have something about the relationship that seems to work. It might not be a lot of things that work, but there must be something. Focusing on the strengths of a couple can go a long way in making changes. More often than not, people seem to focus on what isn’t working in […]

Feeling Like Your Partner Can’t Communicate

Sometimes people say that their partner just does not know how to communicate. Often, women will say, “my husband just does not know how to express himself.” It is actually impossible to not communicate at all. Even if he’s not talking, he’s still communicating. The majority of communication is actually non-verbal. So if your partner […]

Can Having a Hobby Improve My Marriage?

In today’s fast-paced world, many people report being busier than ever. People often say they have little to no free time, and most people report not having a hobby. Instead, people report being overworked, stressed out with household chores, and lacking opportunities to spend time doing something they enjoy. Most people tend to think that […]

How Do Your Conflicts End?

When you and your partner have a disagreement, how do your conflicts end? It’s important to examine how your conflicts resolve. Healthy conflict resolution is good for the marriage. If your conflicts do not end in a healthy way, it can create further marital problems. When you and your partner disagree on an issue, what […]

Putting Effort Into the Marriage

Sometimes people say they just aren’t getting enough out of their marriage. They might even say the spark is gone and they’ve drifted apart from their partner. The question becomes, how much energy is this person devoting to their relationship? Perhaps if they feel they aren’t getting enough out, they may back off and decide […]

How Identifying Problems Can Help The Marriage

Sometimes simply acknowledging a problem can be the biggest step toward reaching a solution. Often, couples who schedule their first therapy session report improvements in the marriage even prior to attending their first appointment. Couples who start facing their problems and identifying problems have the ability to start resolving the issues. If you know that your […]

It’s Never Too Late to Change

Sometimes people feel like their relationship is not going to ever get any better. And when people think their marriage won’t ever get any better, they start to behave as if there marriage won’t get any better. When people behave this way, it ensures that their marriage won’t ever get better. When people lower their […]

Are Insecurities and Impacting Your Marriage?

Insecure people tend to seek constant reassurance. This can be difficult for the spouse. Sometimes verbal affirmations just don’t seem to be enough no matter how many times they are repeated. This can be stressful for a marriage. Insecurities can come in several different forms. Sometimes people are self-conscious about their appearance. Imagine a woman […]

Changing Your Thoughts About Your Marriage

Many people think, “I’d only be happy if…” When it comes to a marriage, many people place the responsibility for their mood on their spouse. Someone might think their life could be better if things were different. The danger of having these thoughts about your spouse is that it takes away your personal responsibility for […]