Archive for May, 2011

First Babies Can Change Your Life!

Planning to have your first child? There are many things you should plan for because that child will change you and your partner’s lives! What I plan to do in this set of postings is to address a series of challenges and how to address them.  The first one is that of the newborn coming home […]

Bringing Up the Past

Are you guilty of bringing up the past during a heated debate? Do you remind your spouse of a mistake he/she made a decade ago? If so, it is unlikely to be helpful. If you continue to be angry about something that happened years ago, the middle of an argument about a completely unrelated subject […]

ADHD/ADD and Older People—part 2.

Moving on with suggestions for older people with these conditions, the older person needs to learn to use her or his already developed skills.  An older person, especially if she or he is not taking medication for ADHD/ADD, should find alternative ways of helping herself or himself focus, organize, entertain, and reduce over stimulation.

ADHD/ADD and Getting Older—Some Tips—Part 1.

Lots of attention is being paid to children and young adults with ADHD/ADD.  Lately, girls and women with these conditions are being understood.  Now is the time to look at what happens with older people – as individuals and in relationships. There isn’t as much research on these topics as is needed.  Many of our […]

Responding to Disagreements

How do you respond to your partner when you disagree with what he/she has told you? What if your spouse does something that you don’t like? Do you yell? Give them the silent treatment? Or find ways to punish your spouse? Let’s say you have a spouse who is always running late. You are planning […]

Do Fairy Tale Romances Exist?

Television, movies, and books often portray these wonderful relationships that show a damsel in distress saved by a knight in shining armor only to live happily ever after. How much of that could possibly be reality? Ever watch much reality television? Unfortunately, for some couples, that is reality. Hopefully, for most people, the truth lies […]

Walking On Eggshells

How do you respond to your partner when you disagree with what he/she has told you? What if your spouse does something that you don’t like? Do you yell? Give them the silent treatment? Or find ways to punish your spouse? Let’s say you have a spouse who is always running late. You are planning […]

There’s More Than One Right Way

Almost every task can be completed in several different ways. However, most people become so used to the one way that they do things that whenever someone else’s technique varies, they assume it is wrong. Learning to recognize that how your partner does something might be right, even if it is not the same way […]

Is a Gambling Addiction Impacting Your Marriage?

Problems with gambling can cause serious financial problems as well as a serious strain on a marriage.  People with gambling addictions may exhibit a lot of extreme behaviors that can result in financial ruin. Many compulsive gamblers resort to illegal activity, such as stealing, to continue their habits. Gambling addiction bears much similarity to people […]

Learning to Get Along with the In-Laws

For many couples, the subject of their in-laws can be a difficult subject. Discord between a spouse and a parent can be very stressful. It can be damaging to the marriage as well. Learning how to get along with your in-laws can be difficult yet valuable. Whether your in-laws live thousands of miles away and […]

Are Physical Health Issues Impacting Your Marriage?

Physical health conditions can create a variety of problems for a relationship. If one partner is diagnosed with a health condition, it can be devastating for the individual as well as the couple.  Despite marriage vows that usually mention “in sickness and in health,” for many people, physical illnesses can place a strain on the […]

How Do You Show Love?

How do you show your spouse how much you love him/her? There are a variety of ways people show their love to others. There are also differences in what makes people feel loved. Learning to recognize how you show love to your partner and what makes your partner feel loved can help you communicate your […]

Privacy Within the Marriage

How much privacy exists between your marriage and others? Some couples tend to be very private people. Other couples fight openly in public and air all their dirty laundry for the whole world to see. Sometimes one person in the marriage shares all the “secrets” to others. How much privacy should be within a relationship? Each […]

Does an Emotional Affair Cause Any Harm?

Many people consider emotional affairs to be “innocent fun.” Often disguised as friendships, emotional affairs take friendship too far. They can be just as damaging, if not more damaging, to a marriage than a sexual affair. People usually don’t set out looking for an emotional affair. Instead, they often seek out friendship. These friendships with […]

His Needs Versus Her Needs

Everyone has needs. When a couple comes together, each person’s needs is likely to conflict with the other person’s needs. Learning how to respond to this makes the difference between a highly conflicted relationship and a peaceful marriage. Remember that you are the expert over what you need. Your partner is the expert over his/her […]

The Importance of Learning How to Manage Stress Effectively

Everyone has stress in their lives. Money, work, chores, children, and other daily responsibilities can add up to a lot of stress if people do not learn how to effectively manage it. When people are not doing well with their stress, they can become withdrawn, irritable, anxious, depressed, and angry. This can take a toll […]

Relationships and the Weight Issue

One of you is overweight.  How does the other person handle it? How does the other person not make the situation worse?  Here are some tips. Everyone’s talking about weight these days.  We hear about an obesity epidemic—among adults, among kids.  We also hear about all the bad diseases that can come along with being […]

Are You Losing Your Man to the Internet?

Internet porn is a very serious relationship destroyer.  On the surface, many men and boys seem addicted to it.  And while there are some women and girls who are addicted, women and girls find themselves badly affected by what is happening to the males in their lives. Let’s look at some suggestions for handling this. […]

Communicating without Attacking

Communication that involves attacking your partner will not yield positive results. Instead, it is likely to create more problems for the relationship. Attacking your partner verbally may include obvious forms such as name calling, or it may include more subtle forms in an attempt to manipulate your partner. Name calling is never productive. Calling your […]

Retirement Considerations

No, this is not another ad for financial retirement planning!  I’m assuming you have enough money and resources to retire.  What you need to do is to think about what retirement means to you.  Does it mean the end of your present life or career?  Opportunities for a new life or career?  Does it mean […]