Archive for January, 2012

Stay in Therapy!!!

A client’s story prompted this post. It has to do with staying in therapy. She was 17 and, in her terms, a mess.  She had been fighting with her mother endlessly.  On her own, she got herself to therapy.  The therapist helped her.  She provided insight, reflection, another point of view, warmth, and a better […]

Reasons People Avoid Addressing their Marital Problems

Avoidance is a common coping skill people use when they are faced with difficult problems. Avoiding marital problems won’t make them go away. In fact, they are likely to get worse. There are many reasons why people choose to avoid facing their marital issues. Denial Denial is a powerful thing. Sometimes people feel like if […]

Asperger’s Syndrome and “Finicky” Eaters

As I have written before, I am both an anthropologist and clinical psychologist.  In my latter role, one of the populations with whom I work is children and adults with Asperger’s Syndrome.  Over the years I have noticed that a child who has Asperger’s Syndrome can be “finicky” when s/he eats.  In this post, I […]

Misconceptions About Counseling

People who have never attending counseling may have some misconceptions about what counseling is. Television shows and movies often portray the Hollywood version of counseling, which is often not accurate. Learning about what counseling is and how it can help can alleviate the anxiety some people experience when considering either individual or couple’s counseling. Counseling […]

Marriage and Depression: How Should You Handle a Depressed Spouse?

Your spouse is miserable. Maybe now is the time to be a giver. Maurice came in silently. There was no, “Hello! How are you? How was your day?” He brought a chill into the house without a word. He carefully stamped the snow off his boots, then he just as carefully arranged them by the […]

Putting Sex on a Pedestal – Video by Dr. Deb

Source: Sign up for Dr. Deb’s Newsletter to get more of her videos.

When the Internet Causes Marital Problems

The internet provides people with endless possibilities that can be helpful or harmful to a marriage depending on how it used. People often behave differently online than they do in real life and the internet provides people with the opportunity to engage in many behaviors that can be harmful to a marriage. It’s important to […]

The Truth About Infidelity and How to Protect Your Marriage

Sometimes people think that their marriage is immune to an affair. However, when people assume that they would never cheat or that their partner would never cheat, their marriage is actually more vulnerable than ever. It is important to take pro-active steps to help safeguard your marriage from an affair. What Research Says About Infidelity Research […]

More on Asperger’s!

In my last post, I pointed out resources for diagnosis and support if your child has Asperger’s Syndrome.  I would like to address some other concerns parents and kids have raised.  In sum, the future is good and reassuring! One concern parents have is this: Can my child learn how others view the world?  The […]

Could Your Child Have Asperger’s Syndrome?

In the last few years, there has been an increase in the recognition of and treatment of Asperger’s syndrome. I work with many children and adults who have Asperger’s Syndrome. I want to share some thoughts and resources for parents. In later posts, I will address the strengths and great future prospects for people with […]

What Do Home Improvement Projects Say About Your Marriage?

Sometimes couples make jokes about their inability to work together successfully on projects, especially home improvement projects. However, looking at how you work together on smaller projects can offer you some valuable insight into the overall strengths and weaknesses in your marriage. How you deal with small problems in life often reflects how you handle […]

Creating Lasting Changes to Improve Your Marriage

Creating lasting changes to improve the health of your marriage requires hard work and dedication. Sadly, many people say they will change but do not make the commitment to follow through with what is needed to sustain the changes. Developing a real plan before jumping into making a change is important. Determining What Changes You […]

Drawing Conclusions About Your Spouse and Your Marriage

Your attitude about your marriage makes a big difference in your overall happiness and satisfaction with life. The way you feel about the state of your relationship will determine how you treat your spouse, how you interpret your spouse’s actions, and how much effort you put into the relationship. The conclusions you develop about your marriage may not […]

Focus on Meeting Your Spouse’s Needs, Even if You Feel Like Your Needs Aren’t Being Met

Often, when people feel like their needs aren’t being met in the marriage, they stop focusing on meeting their spouse’s needs. This can lead to even bigger marital problems. Sometimes people begin to behave in ways that continue to damage the relationship, such as lying or nagging. It’s important to take notice of your own […]

Expressing Your Concerns to Your Spouse

When your spouse does something that you don’t agree with, that hurts your feelings or that worries you, how you express your concern makes a big difference. There are lots of different messages you can offer to your spouse to express your concern. Finding strategies to reduce the likelihood that your spouse will become defensive […]

Couples Counseling for Parenting Issues

Counseling can help couples dealing with a variety of parenting issues. The stress of raising children can be detrimental to a marriage if the couple struggles with parenting issues. Couples counseling can assist parents in working together and growing closer as they raise their children. Counseling Before Having a Child Just like some couples receive […]

Myths About Love

Listen to songs played on the radio about love. Watch some movies about love. Then read some romance novels. What sort of messages would you receive about love and relationships? There’s all sorts of fairy tale images that surface in pop culture. There are lots of myths about love. Society and culture tend to reinforce these […]

Choosing to be Assertive Rather Than Passive-Aggressive

It takes courage to behave assertively in your marriage. Sometimes people don’t really know what it means to be assertive. Other times, people have never really tried to be assertive and it feels awkward or uncomfortable. Learning how to be truthful about how you feel can have a positive impact on your marriage. What it […]

Girl Toys? Boy Toys?

A while back I wrote a couple of posts about getting cheap or free toys and activities for your kids.  I said I would talk about the issue of girl toys v. boy toys. So here are some thoughts.

How Mindfulness Skills Can Improve Your Marriage

In today’s fast-paced society, many people feel like they thrive on multi-tasking. People text while talking to others in a busy restaurant, clean the house while talking on the phone, and have multiple screens open on their computer so they can pay bills and catch up on social media all at the same time. This […]