When a long term relationship comes to an end, there are bound to be long-lasting effects for everyone. Some people can handle these situations well while others really struggle to control their emotions. Even if the signs were there for a long time, the actual separation still comes as a bit of a shock to the system.
Suddenly, the person you relied on for certain tasks is no longer there. The bedroom can feel lonely at night, and if children are involved, once they are in bed for the night, you can feel very much alone, and lonely. Separations always affect children as well. They can have disturbed nights, be restless, perhaps even act up. It can also affect their performance at school.
Separation is a difficult process to go through so it is advisable to seek out family counseling at this time. If you are having difficulties with the children adjusting, then it is important for them receive counseling to help them understand the events occurring around them. It also important that you maintain as much of the former routine as possible, filling in areas that your former partner took care of.
Many experts classify separation as a form of grieving – and to a certain extent, for children, that is exactly what it is. For an adult, it can be a little different. You have had some control over the termination of the relationship, perhaps even instigating it. Some emotions you may need to address include guilt – especially if the children are having difficulties. Seek out family counseling. A counselor can help to restore some balance to everyone’s emotions, and to provide tools that will help you get through the initial stages.