Are you able to ask for what you want from your partner? Many people have difficulty asking for what they want or need from their partner. It is important to look at the underlying reasons that cause you to have difficulty asking for what you want.
Do you think you shouldn’t have to ask? Do you think if your partner really knew you or loved you, he would just know without you having to say it? Think about how realistic it is that your partner can know what you want all the time. Your spouse can’t read your mind and has no idea what you are looking for unless you make it known by asking.
When your partner notices that something is wrong and asks you what’s going on, are you ever guilty of saying, “if you don’t know, I’m not going to tell you?” Yikes. If your partner is asking, it is important for you to be able to share. And you don’t have to wait until your partner asks to share your needs.
Do you ever feel like it would be weak of you to ask for something? Or that you shouldn’t ask for help because you should be able to do it on your own? Pride prevents a lot of people from trying to get their needs met. It is important to be able to overcome your pride for the sake of the marriage. Part of marriage is developing a partnership and a true partnership cannot be formed if you aren’t identifying your needs and asking for help. Allow your partner to help you.
Are you guilty of not asking for help because you want to be a martyr? Perhaps you want to be able to hold it against your partner later that you do “everything.” Or you think that your partner will hold it against you if he has to help you with something. Teamwork is very important in a marriage and if you are keeping score, you aren’t being a team player.
It is important to learn how to ask for what you want and need from your partner. Otherwise, it isn’t fair to be upset that you aren’t satisfied with the relationship. Allowing your partner to meet your needs is the sign of a healthy marriage.