There’s a great debate about whether technology improves relationships or harms them. Technological advances are often supposed to make life easier. Social media, cell phones, and computers should make communication simple. However, the reality is, that technology sometimes seems to make people grow further apart rather than grow together. So in an age where technology continuously changes the way we communicate with one another, is it possible that Facebook could actually be helpful to a marriage?
Facebook provides an opportunity to connect with thousands of people instantly. You can immediately share with the world how you feel, what you’re doing, what articles you’re reading, and instant photos. This sort of instant access to the world can either help or hurt your marriage. Learn how you can use Facebook to help your marriage.
1. Communicate With Others in a Public Forum
Facebook can be a great way to help you stay accountable when you use it appropriately. You can use Facebook to keep your communication with others transparent. When you talk with people of the opposite sex in a public setting you aren’t as likely to say things that might be considered flirting.
Most people who have an affair don’t set out to cheat on their spouse. Instead, most affairs result from people having private conversations that lead down a slippery slope. If you keep your communications public, you’ll eliminate that temptation.
If you choose to be Facebook friends with past romantic partners, this is especially important. Avoid having private conversations or secret email conversations. Instead, stick to posting on one another’s wall only in order to keep yourself accountable. By keeping these conversations on your wall, it will eliminate any temptation to flirt or discuss your past romance, which can be damaging to your marriage.
2. Post Current Pictures of You and Your Spouse Together
You can tell a lot about someone based on the pictures they tend to post as people tend to post pictures of what is important to them. They also post photos of things they are proud of, such as their accomplishments or their children. Post new pictures of you and your spouse together frequently.
Challenge yourselves to do fun activities together. Go hiking, travel to new places, and have fun as a couple. Then post pictures of your adventures together. This can help be a daily reminder to you of your love for one another and the fun times you share.
3. Send Private Notes to Each Other
Use Facebook to communicate privately with your spouse. Send a little note in the middle of the day just to say hello. Write an email each day that says one thing you appreciate about your spouse. Or use the private chat feature to start a spicy conversation.
Try to avoid using Facebook to nag your spouse. Sending a message that says “Remember to pick up milk on your way home” can make communication via social media seem like a chore. And it can lead to a lot of disagreements when the other person isn’t able to read your body language or tone.
Also, avoid using Facebook for serious discussions. Sending a private message that says something like, “I don’t think we should visit your parents for Christmas this year,” isn’t likely to end well. Use social media as a way to complement and enhance your communication only. Don’t try to use it as a substitute for face to face communication.
4. Use Your Status to Share the Positives
Share some positive messages about your spouse in your status. No need to go overboard by posting messages that seem to paint your spouse as perfect, however, point out the positives. Share those nice things your spouse does and announce what you appreciate about your spouse publicly! If your spouse made a great dinner, feel free to brag a little. Tell the world you’re proud about your spouse’s recent accomplishments. Share that gift your spouse got for you. This can help remind you of why you got married in the first place and reinforce those loving feelings.
5. Network with Other Couples
Use Facebook to keep in close contact with other married couples. Surrounding yourselves with other happily married couples can have a positive impact on your relationship. Take the opportunity to make plans with other couples. Doing positive activities together with other couples can reinforce your marriage.
6. Subscribe to Facebook Groups that Support Healthy Marriages
In a world so full of bad news, it can be helpful to hear some news that reinforces marriage. Getting daily reminders of how to have a happy and healthy marriage can support you in being the best spouse that you can be.
Your marriage isn’t immune to the strain technology can place on communication. In some instances, couples grow further apart due to lack of face to communication when they use technology as their only medium to communicate. For other couples, an addiction to the internet can create a huge rift in the relationship, which sometimes leads to divorce. Focus on using Facebook to reinforce your marriage!