When you are angry at your partner do you ever make threats? Maybe you threaten to leave? Or threaten a divorce? Or threaten that your partner will never see the kids again? Or even threaten bodily harm? Whether threats are more on the minor end of the spectrum or on the major end, they can be very damaging to a relationship.
If you are guilty of making threats when you are angry or frustrated, try to evaluate the reasons you make these threats. Are you trying to get your partner to change? Are you looking for a reaction? Or do you actually mean these things when you are angry but then later regret them? Identifying the underlying reasons that lead to these behaviors can be the first step in identifying ways to change.
If you “blurt” out threats when you feel angry, you might benefit from learning anger management skills. People who make threats use intimidation and aggression in an attempt to get their needs met, often because they are not sure how to effectively get what they want in other ways. Learning new strategies can help improve your interactions with others.
Although threats sometimes work in the short-term, they cause damage to relationships over time. People who make threats are often not taken seriously and are viewed as angry people. Sometimes people might give in to a threat to avoid a major “blow up” but the damage to the relationship is being done.
If you make threats in an attempt to get your partner to change, you may benefit from learning new strategies to help you manage conflict. You might also benefit from learning how to accept your partner for who they are as well as skills to help you communicate your needs more effectively. If you learn how to communicate your feelings and ask for what you need, you may feel less compelled to make threats.