Focus on Managing Your Own Emotions and Behaviors, Even When Your Partner Isn’t 

When your partner is out of line with his behaviors, it is important to focus on managing yourself. When your partner’s anger or behaviors escalate, your reaction can either fuel the fire or not. Learning how to keep your emotions and behaviors in check is important to a healthy marriage.

How do you handle your anger? Do you yell and scream? If your partner behaves rudely, do you have a short fuse? Do you behave rudely in retaliation?

Anger is an important, normal, healthy emotion that is okay to express. It is the behaviors many people exhibit when they are angry that gives anger a “bad rap.” Learning how to manage your anger without becoming spiteful, bitter and mean is important.

How do you and your partner handle sadness? Many people are uncomfortable with feeling sad. How do you take care of yourself? How do you respond when your spouse is sad?┬áIt is important to know how to encourage your partner and offer some cheer when your partner is sad. However, it is also important not to get “sucked into” taking responsibility for your partner’s sadness.

How do you manage anxiety? It is normal for people to experience some worry, stress, and anxiety. However, it becomes problematic when anxiety begins to interfere with daily living. How do you manage your feelings and behaviors when you become anxious? Sometimes people lash out or avoid anything that causes them to feel anxious.

How do you respond to your partner’s anxiety? If your spouse is anxious about going somewhere that you want to go, would you go or stay home? It is important not to allow your partner’s anxiety to control your life. Instead, gently encourage your partner to do things and don’t give up the things you love because of your partner’s anxiety.

Staying polite when your partner isn’t is important to not further damage the relationship. When people’s emotions are out of control, they are often irrational. Learning how to keep your emotions and behaviors in check can prevent a lot of marital problems.

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