The Marriage Counseling Blog

Sometimes people say they just aren’t getting enough out of their marriage. They might even say the spark is gone and they’ve drifted apart from their partner. The question becomes, how much energy is this person devoting to their relationship? Perhaps if they feel they aren’t getting enough out, they may back off and decide not to put much into the relationship. This can cause further dissolution of the relationship which perpetuates the problems.

If you never spent any quality time with your children, do you think you would still have a great relationship with them? Probably not. Children grow up fast and it’s important to keep a close relationship with them. In order to do so, you need to spend time with them on a regular basis. Effort and energy need to be devoted to your children daily.

Your marriage is much the same. If you are not spending enough quality time with your partner, you aren’t likely to have a happy, healthy relationship.  If you aren’t putting much energy into the relationship, you aren’t likely to feel like you are taking much away from the relationship.

If you feel like the quality of your relationship is poor, it might be tempting to give up. However, by giving up, your relationship is only going to continue to get worse. The more difficult your relationship seems, the more energy and effort it will take to improve it. If your relationship is good, keep it good by devoting sufficient time and energy to your marriage. Taking your current relationship status for granted can be dangerous. People who assume their relationship will continue to remain good, might be tempted to devote less time and energy to keeping it healthy.

Spend quality time together. Listen to your partner. Talk to your partner about your feelings, goals, and dreams. Do kind things for your partner and be willing to put in the extra effort, even if you feel like your partner is not devoting as much time and energy into the relationship.