The Marriage Counseling Blog

Establishing mutual goals can help a marriage feel more like a team effort.  Short term goals can help keep the relationship exciting and satisfying.  Long term goals can help couples clarify their values.  Creating goals can help each partner divide their time and money according to the plan.  Goals can also help improve communication as each partner is made aware of what their spouse wants to achieve.

Short term goals may include things such as saving up for a trip, making some minor home improvements, or making a new purchase.  Setting a timeline can help turn these goals into a reality.  It also gives each partner the chance to work together in a team effort to reach a common goal.

Long term goals may include things such as taking a big vacation, retiring, or building an addition or purchasing a new home.  Determining the steps needed to reach the goal can help couples clarify their values.  For example, is it working extra hours to pay for trip to Disney World?  Or is it more important to spend time with family now even though it may delay the trip for years.  Long term goals require periodic evaluation to determine if any changes need to be made and to discuss what sort of progress is being made.

When couples are able to work together as a team, amazing things can happen.  Couples can encourage and motivate one another.  They can also inspire one another and then experience the enjoyment of reaching a goal together.

When couples are having difficulty deciding on mutual goals, it can cause conflict.  Sometimes people become angry or resentful at their spouse if they feel too much money is being spent or not enough time is being devoted to the family or a project.  Couples who are struggling to set goals together may benefit from couples counseling to help establish goals together.  This can reduce competition and lead to teamwork.