Dealing with Feelings of Jealousy
The news has been sharing stories about states legalizing the use of GPS tracking devices to track your spouse’s whereabouts. It’s an interesting concept that a person would go so far to check up on their partner that they would track their movements. People who feel jealous sometimes exhibit desperate behaviors to see if their partner is cheating on them.
There is a big difference between feelings and behaviors. Feeling jealous sometimes is not necessarily a bad thing. It is just a feeling.
When you feel jealous, try to take stock into what is going on. Has your partner given you any indication of dishonesty? Have you caught him lying before? Has he had an affair in the past? Does he have a history of cheating? If any of these things are true, you are feeling jealous because you don’t trust him. Work on ways to build trust within the relationship.
Maybe you are feeling jealous because of your past experiences. Maybe you grew up in a home where you witnessed a parent having affairs. Perhaps it even lead to divorce. Or maybe you have had past partners cheat on you. Your feelings of jealousy are out of fear of being hurt. If this is the case, you need to do some work to get through your issues so that you can feel more secure.
The behaviors you exhibit when you feel jealous are most important. Do you go to great lengths to try and prevent your partner from cheating? Do you check his phone, email, or facebook account? Do you look in his wallet or ever check up on him? It’s unlikely that these behaviors will stop him from cheating. If he’s into cheating, he’ll likely find more creative ways to do it without you being aware.
Such behaviors can harm a relationship. Feeling like you aren’t trusted doesn’t feel good. It can cause arguments and resentment. It makes it impossible to develop a secure, loving relationship, if you aren’t feeling your partner trusts you.
For some people, jealous behaviors sabotage most relationships. If you or your partner struggles with jealousy, consider getting help. Learning how to manage jealous feelings and the thoughts behind them can help restore your relationship.
I’m not sure. For normal couples a spout of suspicion or mild jealousy can be a healthy signal that one partner’s attachment needs are going unmet. With such a high rate cheating, such jealousy is often picking up to a real relationship threat.
Thank you for this article. It really got me thinking.