In any marriage, money can be a big source of stress. It is important for financial decisions to be made as a partnership between both people. In unhealthy relationships, money can be used as a way to control or abuse the other person.
Healthy marriages allow both people to benefit from financial arrangements. Each person has a say in what is done with the money, regardless of who earns it or who earns the most. A stay-at-home parent is given equal say to the person who is the family’s breadwinner. Although both partners won’t always agree on where to put all the money, each person is able to get their needs met and feels free to express their opinions and concerns.
In an unhealthy relationship, one partner may have to ask for money and may be given an “allowance.” The person might be told, “you don’t earn it so you don’t get to choose how to spend it,” or they might be told, “you don’t know how to manage the money properly so I’ll do it.” In such cases, money is used as a weapon within the relationship. Economic abuse is a serious issue. If you don’t feel safe talking to your partner about the financial decisions in the home, seek help. A trained mental health professional can assist you in determining a course of action.
In other cases, one partner may not know about the family finances. This may be due to one partner attempting to control the financial situation and not allowing the other person to have access. It may also be due to one person’s lack of interest or desire to become involved. It is very important for both partners to be aware of the financial situation and have knowledge of bank accounts. This is important in case of an emergency or unexpected death, but also to help with financial planning. If you don’t have the information available, you can’t make good financial decisions.
Disagreements about finances can lead to a marriage’s ending. Make sure that you and your partner are able to work on financial issues together. It is important for both people to feel comfortable discussing financial concerns and goals in order to plan for the future.