The Negative Impact of Avoidance
Avoidance can be detrimental to a marriage. A couple may avoid many things within the relationship that cause problems. They may avoid addressing serious issues, avoid working together, or may even avoid one another’s company. If your marriage seems to be avoidant, it is important to address these issues as soon as possible.
Do you avoid conflict? Sometimes people don’t want to make their partner mad or feel it isn’t worth the effort. These can be signs of serious trouble in the relationship. If disagreements are not addressed, they don’t go away. Instead, it is more likely that feelings will be hurt and resentment will build.
Do you and your partner avoid working as a team? Sometimes couples live very separate, individual lives under the same roof. They make independent financial decisions, parenting decisions and basic household decisions. They may also consult more with friends and family rather than each other when dealing with issues. A marriage can actually seem to interfere with life when two people try to live separately while under the same roof.
Sometimes couples avoid spending time together and literally avoid one another’s company. They may make excuses or say they are too busy to spend time together. They may say their careers, the children, or other activities just don’t leave them enough time to be together.
Other couples may be able to admit they don’t want to spend time together, yet they don’t work to solve the problems. Instead, they busy themselves with other activities and put in an effort to avoid being in the same room as their partner. They may even admit to others they are looking for reasons to get out of the house.
Avoidance is often a symptom of more serious underlying problems within a marriage. If you notice that you and your partner avoid working together or spending time together, examine what some of the underlying reasons may be. What would happen if you stopped avoiding? Consider marriage counseling to help you learn how to address problems and one another in healthy ways.
Avoidance of one another’s company is not a healthy sign in a relationship. This indicates that there is a certain problem in the relationship and yet each of the partner is reluctant to openly discuss about this. The problem will not go away by avoidance. Instead, one should brace oneself up and be brave enough to face the issue with the partner. Start dialogue to find out what the problem is.