We often look at marriage problems from the perspective of the aggrieved partner. But what about the partner who has caused the pain? How do they say they are sorry; that the marriage is worth saving; and that they want to save it? Often, the aggrieved partner is feeling hurt, the trust is gone, and the last thing they want is to save the marriage.
This can be a very difficult situation. From the aggrieved partner’s perspective, you have no right to ask forgiveness, or at least, no right to expect forgiveness. Yet that is exactly what you want. It can be very frustrating trying to break down that wall of distrust and, unfortunately, often it is impossible – you have to accept the inevitable, and that is that the marriage is over.
In some cases, you may be able to convince your partner that all isn’t lost, and that you are more than willing to go with them to a marriage counselor to try and heal the rift. If they are willing, you have to follow through. However, a word of warning, your heart really does need to be in it; if not, the chances are that even marriage counseling will fail.
How do you say you’re sorry? Words and actions are the only way. You have to win back that trust, you have to prove to your partner that whatever wrong you did, it was a one off and is not going to repeat itself. If you do repeat that action, then don’t expect a second chance. But then, if you are really serious about saving your marriage, there’s no chance of a repeat, is there?