The Marriage Counseling Blog

You and your partner will go through some profound changes after the baby is born.  Here are some issues to think about and some tips to help both of you.

Once you begin to understand the language and needs of the newborn, you will feel more comfortable in dealing with your own changes.  As mentioned in the previous entry, a breast-feeding mom is going to be exhausted in the first few months after the baby is born. Breast-feeding is tiring, apart from the sleep and work disruptions.  Any chance the new mom has to let someone else attend to the baby is worth taking.  Don’t let the new mom think she’s the only one capable of being with that child.  The new person gets to interact and bond with the child and give the mom some rest.

Having someone else take the child for a bit gives the newborn the chance to interact with someone who smells, feels, and acts differently than his/her primary caregiver.  This new person widens the world for that child, adding to the child’s emotional and physical development.

Having someone other than your partner take care of the child for a bit also gives the new mom and the partner a chance to be with each other.  Mom and partner were, and are, a couple before the baby was born.  They need to remind each other of that relationship, and, to whatever extent possible, enjoy each other’s company.  Sex may not happen until the new mom feels comfortable with it, but affection and interaction can happen—and should.