Getting Along with Another Couple 

Years ago I was part of a couple.  We were friends with another couple.  We thought of sharing a house.  So, we went to some meetings and shared a suite.  I put the newspaper I was reading down on my bed.  That offended the woman in the other couple. “You just don’t do that!—you put it on the desk!  Where we you raised?” That was the last we thought about sharing a house!  We all still remained friends, however. But it raises the question: if it’s hard for two people to go out together, live together, or take a trip together, can four?  Or two couples?  (We’re not talking about business obligations here.) Some ideas…

You and your partner need to find out what you like and dislike about each other before proceeding to the outside world.  As a couple, you tend to do things your own way.  To an extent, you live in your own created bubble.  So you need to ask yourselves:  what kinds of foods do I/we like?  How much do I/we like cleanliness and order (or the opposite—however you define it!)  How structured and flexible do I/we have to be?  How much money do I/we like to spend?  Tip?  How do I/we like to dress—or not!

These are serious questions if you’re planning to go out to dinner.  Do you share the same taste in restaurants (pardon the pun!) or does the restaurant provide a wide selection so you all have a choice?

In terms of vacations, do you like to be the one driving or being driven?  What do you need in terms of hotels or motels or destinations? Restaurants?  What time do you and your partner wake up and go to sleep and what time do they?  Is it all right for different people in the foursome to switch around and hang with each other for different activities without feelings of jealousy and betrayal coming up?

What about sharing houses?  We talked about cleanliness and order and food. There’s other considerations—like heat, noise, and so on.

It’s best to practice with your partner first and then take everything in small steps.  Just because you like each other doesn’t mean everything else will flow easily.  But it can be done!

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