The Marriage Counseling Blog

Loyalty in your marriage refers to whether you uphold or damage your spouse’s public image. It is different from being faithful to your spouse, which refers to upholding your vows. Being a loyal spouse means you speak highly of your spouse’s good qualities and your spouse knows you can be counted on to defend his honor.

If you spend any time on Facebook, you’ll see some examples of people who are not loyal to their spouse. Those posts that say something like, “My husband has gone fishing even though it’s my birthday and he doesn’t care I’m spending it alone,” does not show much loyalty. Or the person who posts, “I have to stay home and take care of the kids again because Bob is out drinking,” doesn’t show much loyalty either. Publicly announcing your gripes about your spouse isn’t helpful to the marriage.

Another way to look at your loyalty is how do you respond if someone criticizes your spouse? Are you guilty of joining in? Do you stay quiet? Or would you stand up for your spouse? Standing up for your spouse demonstrates your willingness to put yourself out there, in defense of your spouse’s reputation.

Are you guilty of talking negatively about your spouse? Do you complain to friends and family members behind your spouse’s back? Talking about his bad habits to your friends doesn’t show your loyalty to him. Also making fun of your wife’s quirks when you have company doesn’t show your loyalty either.

If you are guilty of sharing some of your spouse’s secrets, talking negatively about your spouse, or allowing people to talk negatively, think about the negative impact this can have on your marriage. Consider what you can do to make some changes to increase your loyalty. Having a loyal spouse can make a big difference in improving the trust and emotional connection in the marriage.