The Harmful Effects of Media on a Marriage 

It’s Monday night. You and your partner are sitting on the couch, unwinding after a long day. The kids are asleep, and you have the next two hours to spend together. Instead, you’re streaming Netflix on your TV, your eyes are fixated on your laptop, and you’re compulsively checking your phone every two minutes for a text message.

How many of us are guilty of a similar scenario? As much as I adore my husband and our quiet time together, we just can’t seem to put our gadgets away and just enjoy each others company.

In the age of Twitter, text messaging, blogging, Facebook, DVR, and email, we are inundated with media. It seems like the days of sitting across from each other and enjoying long conversation are behind us. It makes me wonder if we are losing some very important aspects of our relationships.

Intimacy is essential for a healthy, satisfying relationship, and no, I am not talking about sex (not exclusively, anyway). Intimacy is not just physical—it is also emotional, spiritual, and mental. When our eyes are glued to one of our many devices and not to each other, we lose this connection.

I’d like to propose a “media free” day for couples. A day where the TV is off, the phones are put away (unless, of course, you receive an important call), and the laptops are shut down. A day where you just enjoy the company of your loved ones. Can’t find the courage to do this for an entire day? How about a few hours. Heck…start with 30 minutes! It may be a challenge at first, but soon you’ll remember the “good ‘ol days” of having meaningful conversation and looking into each others eyes.  You’ll reconnect with your spouse and your children, and get back some of that lost intimacy. I believe that doing this at least once a week will greatly improve your relationship. And at the end of the day, what’s more important—who’s going home on “The Bachelor”, beating that annoying level of Angry Birds, or recreating the moments that led to you and your partner falling in love in the first place?

2 Responses to “The Harmful Effects of Media on a Marriage”

  1. As a semi-newly married couple, I’ve felt how easy it is to fall into the habit of just watching TV or browsing the internet when we are together, instead of having meaningful conversations. I love my husband and he loves me, but in order to keep the love that we have, meaningful, intimate moments are vital! This article reminded me of that, and I’m committed to making some changes in the way I spend time with my husband.

  2. It is especially rewarding to see you continuing to practice what you preach in a simple and unequivocal way. Thanks for your willingness to spend your time in the lab testing what really works and then freely sharing the results with the rest of us.

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