Signs of Verbal Abuse Within the Marriage 

Verbal abuse can be a more subtle form of abuse that may be more difficult to recognize at times. It may include outright name calling, swearing, and threats, or it may involve other tactics to make the other partner feel bad. It impacts people’s feelings of self-worth, can make the person feel crazy, and sometimes causes shame or embarrassment.

The most obvious form of verbal abuse is name calling. An abuser may state they are calling the victim names “for your own good.” They may also say that they are protecting the victim because “you can’t handle things on your own.” The abuser may yell, swear, and scream, or they may talk calmly while belittling the victim. Threats are often used to keep the victim under control. The abuser may claim to only be joking.

Abusers usually blame the victim. They will say it is the victim’s fault for causing them to become so angry. They tend to dismiss their partner’s feelings and not take any responsibility for their own behaviors. They often play on the victim’s emotions to manipulate the victim. This is often true when the other person threatens to leave or does leave. They promise to change and they do often appear to make changes, but it typically only lasts a short while.

Victims of verbal abuse often feel depressed and anxious because they feel like they are walking around on eggshells all the time. They may believe what their partner says about them, such as they are weak, stupid, or crazy. Such words sink in after a while and make the person question everything, and they may doubt their ability to leave and live on their own. Sometimes victims think their situation is not that bad and justify tolerating this behavior by saying, “at least I don’t get hit.” Verbal abuse can be just as damaging as physical abuse.

If you are in an emotionally abusive relationship, seek help. Both men and women can be victims of verbal abuse. Professional counseling may help you learn how to safely change your situation. Encourage your partner to seek help as well, but if they refuse, seek help for yourself.

5 Responses to “Signs of Verbal Abuse Within the Marriage”

  1. Lovnlivnlifedc on May 7th, 2011 at 3:06 pm

    Thank you for sharing this post. I suffered from verbal abuse in my marriage. It progressively got worse over time. My now ex-husband blamed me often, claiming I was the only one that pushed him to be so angry. After 8 years of marriage, and the negative affects of verbal abuse, g

  2. Lovnlivnlifedc on May 7th, 2011 at 3:11 pm

    among other things, had taken a toll on me emotionally, physically, and spiritually, I asked him to get some help for his anger. He said he wouldn’t go unless I went, I need to take responsibility for his reactions, and if I changed he could then stop the yelling and anger. For the sake of my children and my sanity, I filed for divorce. I hope that post brings awareness to this type of abuse and will help others overcome.

  3. Women always make men to get angry I can prove it…Once they marry any guy they start expecting things from him… As a husband u should do this n that and then if hubby says no then they will start compairing with other married men by saying that person is doing such things for his wife and you are not doing and ect..

    I would like to request all selfish women to pls keep ur cool and think about person who is doing as much as he can for his family and try to be happy with that instead of complaining

    While reading Lovnlivnlifedc’S reply to this artical i just wish to tell her one things did u try to be nice in every situation when your hubby was yelling were u calm ???? i m sure u would be responding him in same way

    21st century women thinks they are beyond mens but keep one thing in mind you are womens and whether its 21st century or 51st century you gonn be women only with same typical mentality

  4. Really vaibhav? Are you even old enough to be in a relationship? Verbal abuse is a very serious issue with many MEN and WOMEN being affected. You just placing the blame on Lovnlivn is abuse right there. You don’t know what is going on in her situation and why would you even suggest that she encourage her husbands wrongful actions by being “nice” all the time. Being nice is not the only thing to making a marriage work, probably not even in the top five list. Communication is key and obviously you don’t understand if you think women are selfish for wanting a good, working marriage with a loving husband.

    Grow up and get a life. Maybe then you will see what it takes to be successful in love and marriage.

  5. Brilliant, I was thinking about this subject during the day time……and your explanation is exactly what was going through my mind.

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