What if the Truth Hurts? 

There’s a recent movie called The Dilemma.  It’s about what happens when some guy’s buddy thinks about telling the truth about seeing his friend with a woman not his wife.  Should you always tell the truth?  What if the truth has unforeseen consequences?  Are you responsible—completely, partly?  Should you help or be required to pick up the pieces?  Here are some thoughts.

The first question you need to ask is this: Where are you?  Is this your direct or indirect concern?  What do you see as your primary obligation?  Were you raised to always tell the truth?  What if someone found this or something similar out about you?  How would you feel and react?  Are you ready to deal with the consequences if you do tell the truth?

If you have difficulty answering the questions above, and if you feel blocked and burdened, you should seek help from your therapist.  The issues will come up over again in your life, posing the same problems for you.  Don’t try to do this all by yourself!

If you can see that the truth may hurt someone and not resolve any issue, then the best thing is to keep it to yourself. There is no reason to inflict a lot of pain and have things spiral out of control for one or many people.  You should seriously examine this option, and, if necessary, talk to someone not involved – such as your therapist – to make sure you’re clean—that is, you don’t have a dog in this race, that you don’t have anything emotionally tying you into it.

You can leave some things unsaid and deal with your tension and misgivings by yourself or with a trusted other person.  Maturity is learning to deal with this kind of difficult situation—not avoiding it.

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