There are times when a counselor will tell a couple there is nothing wrong with their marriage. The initial reaction is one of disbelief. Just because you feel your marriage is breaking down doesn’t mean it is. The fact you are both talking to a marriage counselor is often testament to that.
Before I upset everyone, let me explain a little further. If a couple are still in love, still care for each other, and still want to be together, then the marriage still has a strong base. The problem is often an individual problem, not a problem of the marriage.
This can be seen in situations where one partner is under a lot of stress, generally caused by their employment. Other situations include bereavement, where one partner has lost a close friend or relative, and is struggling to come to terms with the situation. Post-partum depression can also come under this umbrella.
Individually, these problems could, over time, cause the marriage to slowly fall apart. Early on, while they will be causing problems in the marriage, the marriage itself is still strong. In these situations, marriage counseling can be of assistance in coming to terms with the problems the other partner is experiencing, but what is really needed is specific counseling to deal with the problem.
In some cases, and post-partum depression is a good example, medical intervention may be necessary. For couples, what is important is to realize that their marriage is still strong – there’s nothing actually wrong with the marriage. There are just individual problems that need to be addressed. In fact, you are in the lucky group – your marriage is still strong so you can work together to overcome the problems that are affecting only one of you.