Romance and sex can go out the window once couples have children. Young children can be exhausting and can prevent your ability to have privacy. Lack of time, energy, and libido can zap the romance from the marriage. However, lack of intimate alone time can cause long-term damage to the marriage.
Don’t be afraid to set limits with your children. Install a lock on your bedroom door if your door doesn’t have one already. Children as young as two can learn the importance of privacy. Older children can be told that you are spending time alone in the bedroom. Although they will likely figure out what is going on as they grow older, it is healthy for children to know their parents love one another.
Find alone time together after children have gone to sleep. Also, consider hiring a baby sitter if need be. Ask the sitter to take the kids out for ice cream or to the park. Make alone time a priority.
If you find yourself feeling guilty about wanting alone time, remember that spending quality time together as a couple is important. It is healthy for children to be raised in a loving home and to see a positive healthy relationship between their parents. It can also decrease any anger and resentment about never having privacy.
Keep your room an “adult room.” There’s nothing that kills romance more than rolling over onto a child’s stuffed animal in your bed. Allowing children to sleep in your bed is a sure way to kill any chance of romance. Allowing your children to crawl into your bed to watch television at night can be another way to squash romance. It is okay to make your rules about your bedroom.
Set age-appropriate rules for children that allow you to have privacy. Make time to be alone together, despite your busy lives. Consider spending quality time together an important investment in your marriage and for your family.