Probably everybody is guilty of saying something they didn’t mean at least one time in their life. However, for some people, it becomes a habit. They tend to retaliate, say mean things, and call their spouse names out of anger. This causes damage to the relationship each time it occurs. When you are angry, do […]
Sometimes trying something new feels awkward, especially at first. Fear of embarrassing yourself may prevent you from doing something different. No one likes to feel awkward and many people avoid doing anything that would make them feel this way. However, it can be easy to get stuck in a marital rut and without making changes […]
When people feel angry, they have to decide whether or not to express their anger to their partner immediately. Some people decide to hold in their angry feelings as long as they can, but then it explodes. Other people immediately let their anger be known. It is important to be able to communicate with your […]
Where in the list of your life’s priorities is your relationship? It is often an interesting exercise for couples to separately create their list of their top five priorities. Then compare to see where they differ on priorities and which priorities are the same. Where does your job come in on the list of life’s priorities? […]
When something bad happens, sometimes people tend to ruminate about it. They re-play the event over and over in their head. They dwell on how bad it was. They continue to feel bad about it. It creates a cycle where people feel bad and they can get stuck feeling that way. There’s a difference between […]
Most people think that multi-tasking is a good thing. We live in a society where we value productivity. Don’t waste any time – ever. Instead, be as busy as you can. Unfortunately, this mindset actually can cause people to be less productive and causes them to miss out on the present moment. How […]
A lot of people have phobias. To people who don’t have a phobia, it can be hard to understand. People develop phobias about a variety of things such as spiders, elevators, heights, blood, or airplanes. A phobia becomes a problem when it starts to interfere with a person’s daily life. For example, a person who is afraid […]
In such a difficult economy, an increasing number of couples are looking for effective strategies to improve, strengthen or even save their marriages, without having to incur the often substantial expense of working with a professional counselor. There are so many popular books and websites out there offering untested and unprofessional strategies for saving or […]
There are many marriage counseling alternative self-help programs on the market these days, and I’ve been fortunate enough to review nearly all of them. The one I like the best so far is Mort Fertel’s “Marriage Fitness,” so I’ve decided to name it the “2011 Best Marriage Self Help Program.” One of the things I […]
Remember the old Johnny Paycheck Song, “Take this job and shove it?” It sounded tempting. But in these tough times, it’s not realistic. So, what do you do to make yourself happy while staying at your job? The first step is to accept two facts. The first is that your job is less than satisfying. […]
Moving on with suggestions for older people with these conditions, the older person needs to learn to use her or his already developed skills. An older person, especially if she or he is not taking medication for ADHD/ADD, should find alternative ways of helping herself or himself focus, organize, entertain, and reduce over stimulation.
Lots of attention is being paid to children and young adults with ADHD/ADD. Lately, girls and women with these conditions are being understood. Now is the time to look at what happens with older people – as individuals and in relationships. There isn’t as much research on these topics as is needed. Many of our […]
Everyone has stress in their lives. Money, work, chores, children, and other daily responsibilities can add up to a lot of stress if people do not learn how to effectively manage it. When people are not doing well with their stress, they can become withdrawn, irritable, anxious, depressed, and angry. This can take a toll […]
In case you’re looking for some free advice, and you haven’t yet made the decision to go forward with real therapy or marriage counseling, I want to introduce you to a website we started 4 years ago. Talk About Marriage (http://talkaboutmarriage.com) was started so the public would have an open, supportive forum where they could […]
The CDC estimates that 60 million Americans over the age of 20 are obese. For adolescents ages 6 to 19, 9 million are overweight. This means there’s a good likelihood that you, your spouse, or your children have a weight problem. Parents who are overweight are more likely to have children who are overweight. Obesity […]
You can help make your visit to the doctor more effective for both of you. Here are some tips. Before you go to the doctor, write down what you want her or him to address. Write it down in such a way as to leave space for you to write down the answers. When you […]
Is alcohol an upper? Yes. Is alcohol a downer? Yes. Can it be an upper and a downer at the same time? Yes. Should you worry about that? You bet! Alcohol is a very powerful drug. We tend to minimize that and make excuses for it because, like cigarettes, it’s perfectly legal. Most of the […]
Chances are we all know someone who has struggled with depression at some time in their life. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, major depression affects about 6.7 % of the US adult population in a given year. You may know someone who is struggling with depression, and this person could even be […]
Conflict is all around us all the time. No marriage is devoid of conflict, although some marriages seem to have more conflict situations than others. If conflict is getting out of hand, there are several things you can do to calm those waters. As a couple, it’s often a good idea to discuss these and […]
We live in an age of self-help. The Internet has seen an explosion of self-help books, DVDs and even online guides. We can’t just blame the Internet. Self-help books (real books) were being printed many years before the Internet arrived, and some of those were very good. There is a common thread that runs through […]
