The Marriage Counseling Blog

What could you do differently to be a better partner than you already are? If you think you’re doing “good enough” it’s likely you aren’t interested in making any changes. Part of being a good spouse means you are always striving to improve and find things you can change.

Try to take a look at your behaviors and attitudes in the marriage. What areas could you improve on? Do you work well with your partner in some areas but not others?

A really brave thing to do is to talk to your spouse and ask for her opinion on what you could do better. It’s likely that you’ll get some feedback. Try to accept the feedback without becoming angry and defensive. Instead, analyze the reasons why your spouse may be feeling you could improve in those areas. Areas such as conflict resolution, communication, providing support, managing the money and helping share the workload are common areas of concern.

What gets in the way of being the best spouse you can be? Sometimes people don’t recognize the need to change. Other times, people don’t want to change. Sometimes people don’t know how to change. Making change can be scary and difficult at first.

Other times, fear and doubt become barriers. People worry that their partner won’t accept the changes. Other times people fear failing. What if you change and it isn’t good enough?

Or maybe you don’t think you have the resources to change. Perhaps you don’t think you have the time to meet your partner’s needs. Or maybe you don’t have the energy to do something different. Money can sometimes be a barrier too. People think without enough money to pay for therapy, they just can’t make any changes.

If you want to improve your marriage, practice being the best spouse you can possibly be. Don’t wait until your partner changes or until the kids are grown or you have the house paid off. It is important to start now in order to have the best relationship you possibly can.