The Marriage Counseling Blog

Have you ever looked at where your time goes? Most people seem to underestimate how much leisure time they have. Research studies indicate most people have more leisure time now than ever before. However, people seem to be busy with technology and report feeling they don’t have enough time to get things done. Where do you spend your time and how much time do you devote to your spouse and the marriage?

People’s priorities often become evident when you look at how they spend their time. How do you spend your evenings and weekends? Are you watching television and playing on the computer more than you are talking to your spouse? Do you talk on the phone and visit with friends and family more than you talk to your spouse?

Finding a healthy balance in life can be tricky. It’s important to devote plenty of time to children. It is also important to maintain healthy friendships and family relationships. Hobbies are important too, and don’t forget exercise and getting enough sleep. So then, where is the time you spend together as a couple? And how do you make that sort of time?

Electronics are one of the biggest time zappers. Intending to spend just a few minutes online can turn into a couple of hours before you know it. Or sometimes people feel like they are too tired to do anything so they just want to watch television. However, five hours later, they still sit on the couch without going to bed. Texting and talking on the phone can interrupt couple time as well.

Challenge yourself to spend time each day talking and connecting with your partner. If you feel like you can’t make the time, it’s probably a sign of a serious problem. If you feel like you don’t want to make the time, that’s even more serious. Try spending 15 minutes more than you already do giving your partner your undivided attention. Turn off the television and your phone and engage in some quality time together.

Many couples plan a “date night.” Perhaps it is once a week or once a month. This is a great idea, however, it needs to be done in conjunction with spending quality time together at other times as well. If you and your partner work different shifts, try to find time to talk on the phone if it isn’t possible to see one another. Writing notes or sending emails can be another way to connect when face-to-face communication isn’t possible.