How To Deal With Your Unemployed Partner-part 1
Your partner is unemployed. Perhaps s/he has just lost their job or has been downsized. S/he is depressed, anxious, and at loose ends. You both feel exhausted and at dead ends. Are there actions that you can take to help her or him? This will be a two-part post. Here are a few suggestions.
Before beginning, some important facts to keep in mind. The economy is in a terrible place these days. Very few of us have the luxury of reserve bank accounts, rich and understanding relatives, the ability to move, flexible health insurance policies, etc. So, what can you do next?
First, on a practical level, have “The Conversation.“ The conversation has to be, that this is a crisis and challenge that is facing both of you and, if there are children involved, the children as well. It may be hard to achieve, but you both need to find a solution. You need to make a list of your finances, both short and long term. Find out if there’s any flexibility. Can you refinance your home if you own it? Take in some people to help pay for expenses? Cut expenses? Again, there’s no point in being prideful when you’re up against the wall.
You need to look at all the resources for jobs you can find. These include one-stops, where unemployment and job agencies and colleges and other social services get together. It means looking to your families and friends for help in finding a job. It means asking your religious institutions what kind of help for jobs, clothing, and free food, in addition to food stamps, is available. If you have a disability and need to be retrained, it means finding out whether you are eligible for retraining. Similarly, it means whether you’re eligible for subsidized housing. Check with your local junior college for resources.
If you’ve graduated from college, check with the alumni association and the college placement office and develop what possibilities they can offer. Check available online job listings. They’re run by states, counties, cities, radio stations, and churches.
OK I get all this advice about the unemployed partner. Its important. But when you’re done, can you guys write a piece about how do deal with your employed partner? Or better yet, how do deal with yourself so your employed partner can have some peace? I’m serious. It was a long time ago, but what I remember most from being unemployed was how DIFFICULT I was to live with. And if you want me to write the piece myself, let me know.
Im not working i quit my job two years ago and have been workimg at home on and off right now off.my husband constantly complains about his job and money ,and constantly reminds me that he brings in the money and that i dont bring amything into this mRriage financially.now i wake up at 2:00am every morning make his coffee prepare his lunch and snack to go with his coffee,i keep a clean house always have a hot meal for dinner waiting for him ,do the llaundry,,budget the bills,do all the cooking and cleamig take care of my seven year old ggrandson and thirteen year old daughter,run to every after school event the kids are involved in.yet my husband says the thingss i do are irrevelant and are not worth the money he brings home.when i was working full time i was doing everthimg i mentioned above with no help from mu husband he feels if i cant do it all thendont bother to do it .my husbNd doesnt do housework or cook or help out kids with sschool im forty seven years old and have been doing this the twemty five yeears married to this man amd i cant do it anymore im tired and have raised three children amd still doing now with grandsonmy husband refuses to change and im ready to leave start anew life and go back to school am l unreasonable or just overwhelmed and tired