Have you ever noticed how marriages can be very different? Some couples treat each other like royalty. Other couples tend to complain about their spouse and act as if their marriage is a nuisance. It can be helpful to take a look around at the marriages around you and learn from them.
People who are happily married behave differently. Think about the happiest couples you know. For some people, it can be hard to conjure up happily married people. Sadly, for some unhappy marriages seem to be the norm.
When you do think of a happily married couple you are familiar with, what do you notice? How do they treat one another? How do they behave? Happily married couples tend to have many more positive interactions with one another. You may see them talk positively to their partner through compliments. They may offer one another support. They may appear to be more physically affectionate. They also are likely to work together better.
Then take notice of a couple who you know is not satisfied with their marriage. How do their behaviors compare? Do they complain to each other? Do they treat their partner disrespectfully? Do they avoid spending time together?
Many couples show some subtle behaviors such as rolling their eyes at their partner. They may also complain to others about their spouse. Sometimes they’ve come to accept that their marriage is bad and assume “no one’s ever really happy with their marriage.”
It’s important to notice what types of couples you tend to surround yourself with. If you tend to have mostly divorced or unhappily married couples in your social circle, it can have a negative impact on your view of marriage. If hearing complaints tends to become normalized, it can cause you to join in at times and actually start to impact your relationship.
Try to learn from happily married people. Ask them questions about what makes their relationship successful. Try to surround yourself with couples who talk positively about their marriage and enjoy spending time together. Having this support from others can have a positive impact on your relationship.