What you do after an argument is much more important than what you actually argued about. The behaviors you exhibit following conflict, determine how the two of you will feel about each other. It also impacts how you will approach conflict in the future. For example, if after an argument the two of you can […]
One of the problems with divorce is that by the time someone gets around to doing it, they’ve usually spent a lot of time thinking about it. Depending on the relationship issues, they may have been thinking about it silently or they may have threatened it frequently. Although it is good to think through major […]
When angry, people sometimes offer “the silent treatment.” An angry mother-in-law offers it to their daughter-in-law, friends offer it to friends after a disagreement, and spouses sometimes use it against their spouse. But many ask the question, “Does it work?” The silent treatment should not be confused with taking a time out. If you feel too angry […]
Sometimes people assume that the only way they can be happy in life is to have an ideal marriage. They believe their satisfaction with life hinges solely on how happy they are in their relationship. This sort of thinking can be dangerous and actually can be harmful to your marriage. The Cycle Every marriage is […]
Grief is a difficult process that impacts every area of your life, including your marriage. The grieving process is important, as it is part of the healing process. If people don’t grieve, they don’t work through their feelings of loss. It is important to keep a careful watch for how the grieving process is impacting […]
Many people tend to nag their spouse. Often, they don’t recognize how harmful it can be to the marriage. Psychological studies have shown that nagging doesn’t work and it certainly isn’t helpful for either partner. There are many misconceptions about nagging that cause people to continue nagging their partner, even when they aren’t getting results. […]
Sometimes people think it is major conflict that leads to divorce. However, most studies show that the day to day stress about money and the division of labor are main factors that contribute to marital discord. When the household duties are not managed well as a couple, the stress can take a toll over time. […]
We learn to be anxious and we can unlearn it. We’re introduced to Marlene whose father died and whose mother worked so she had to take care of younger siblings. Being young herself, she was nervous about their safety. This was the beginning of a lifetime of anxiety.
We learn to be anxious and we can unlearn it. It begins with negative thoughts that we may not even be aware of. The job is to think about what triggered the anxiety and track it back to those thoughts. If we don’t do this, we stand to make our partners nervous too. Then the […]
Blessed with beautiful tropical beaches, unique ecosystems, active volcanoes, rolling rivers, and enough adventure to keep even extreme vacationers happy, Costa Rica has become one of the most popular tourist destinations of the twenty-first century. A few decades ago, however, most travelers probably wouldn’t have given it a second thought. Situated below Nicaragua – a […]
When it comes to marriage, much of the advice seems to be a paradox. Although it may seem like a lot of marital advice is in conflict with other tips, it shows the delicate balance that is necessary in marriage. A happy and healthy marriage requires that you take care of yourself while at the […]
Scott thinks a dream vacation is camping, but his wife would much rather visit relatives. The vacation date is getting closer and they have not been able to agree. Now what? All marriages have conflict. We disagree over big things and small things. We find ourselves squabbling about everything from how to channel surf to […]
In the first article in this series, I introduced you to Maurice and Ella. Maurice is depressed because he got let go from a big firm and has been out of work. At first, he thought he would find a new job, but time has elapsed and he is becoming more and more despondent. Ella, […]
In an earlier article, I talked about Maurice, who is depressed, and his wife, Ella. I described the dilemma his depression puts Ella in. On the one hand, she gets the short end of the stick because her husband’s depression will bring her down, too. On the other hand, she can’t really do much about […]
It’s interesting how travel to a new and exciting destination can put the spark back into your relationship. The ability to easily explore new destinations and learn about other cultures is a true gift of living in this century and couples who embark on adventures together – even adventures that cost little – often report […]
Avoidance is a common coping skill people use when they are faced with difficult problems. Avoiding marital problems won’t make them go away. In fact, they are likely to get worse. There are many reasons why people choose to avoid facing their marital issues. Denial Denial is a powerful thing. Sometimes people feel like if […]
Your spouse is miserable. Maybe now is the time to be a giver. Maurice came in silently. There was no, “Hello! How are you? How was your day?” He brought a chill into the house without a word. He carefully stamped the snow off his boots, then he just as carefully arranged them by the […]
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The internet provides people with endless possibilities that can be helpful or harmful to a marriage depending on how it used. People often behave differently online than they do in real life and the internet provides people with the opportunity to engage in many behaviors that can be harmful to a marriage. It’s important to […]
Sometimes people think that their marriage is immune to an affair. However, when people assume that they would never cheat or that their partner would never cheat, their marriage is actually more vulnerable than ever. It is important to take pro-active steps to help safeguard your marriage from an affair. What Research Says About Infidelity Research […]
