Archive for the 'Relationships' Category

You May Be Getting Older…

I recently watched The Bucket List with Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman again.  It reminded me that we often refuse to recognize that we’re getting older. Consequently, we get into trouble because we refuse to deal with it.  So, if you’re over forty, here are some suggestions: The most important one is to realize that […]

4 Ways to Deal with a Spouse Who Lies

4 Ways to Deal with a Spouse Who Lies Lying can be problematic in a marriage. Sometimes people lie about little things, like what time they arrived home or how the vase got broken. Other times, it is more serious lies about who they were with and what they were doing. Lying can feel like […]

Giving Within the Marriage

Finding a balance of give and take is important in a marriage. Sometimes people give too much and grow resentful. Other times, people take too much, causing their partners to grow weary. It’s important to take stock to ensure that you’re giving enough for the marriage and that you are also giving for the right […]

Making Your Bedroom a Romantic Retreat

Sometimes the demands of bills, work, and children can take a toll on the romance in a marriage. Making sure your bedroom is a romantic retreat to escape all the stressors of everyday life can be helpful to the health of your marriage, including your sexual intimacy. A few simple steps can help ensure that […]

Aspies and Romantic Relationships

I’ve written before about a number of issues faced by people with Aspergers.   I’d like to tackle the one about relationships.  I welcome your feedback and I will expand upon what I’m saying in other posts. Temple Grandin wrote in her first book about not wanting to be in a relationship because she missed […]

Are you losing Your Husband to Video Games?

Although both men and women can develop internet or gaming addictions, it seems that many more women are talking about their husbands playing video games constantly. Constant video gaming can lead to marital problems and sadly, in many cases, divorce. Gaming Addiction People can become addicted to video games in similar fashion that people become […]

Putting Sex on a Pedestal – Video by Dr. Deb

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What about the Kids When You Decide to Divorce? Post I

You and your partner have decided to split.  You have kids at home.  What should you be thinking about in terms of their short run, medium run, and long-term needs?  I raise this long question because I hear all sorts of stories as I counsel couples.  I also see children, both kids and adults, who […]

Can You Ever Forgive?

This is always a timely question, but particularly around the holiday season.  We will be going over to the houses of family and friends.  Somebody may be there who has hurt us deeply.  Should we let bygones be bygones, should we not go, or should we confront them?  These are some thoughts. Not everyone is […]

Your Kids, Your Relatives, and Your Friends During the Holidays, part 2.

We just talked about how to prepare your somewhat older kids for the holiday visits.  What about your younger kids—newborns to four?  What can you do to prepare them and your family and friends for the visits? The most important thing to remember is that little ones get easily overwhelmed.  A young child needs certainty, […]

Your Kids, Your Relatives, and Your Friends During the Holidays, part 1.

It’s holiday time and you’re going to take your kids to a Thanksgiving or holiday event.  You may be staying over for a period of time.  What should you do to prepare them for some of the possible tension?  What should you do to prepare your family and friends to deal with your kids?  Here […]

The Negative Impact of Pornography on Marriage

Pornography can be a big issue in some marriages. Often, it’s the men who want to view it and the wives who aren’t comfortable with it. It leads to some people asking, is pornography really bad for a marriage? One of the potential problems with pornography is that it can become addictive. Watching pornographic images increases dopamine levels […]

How Do You Treat Your Spouse?

Many people would say that they treat their spouse quite well. However, it’s important to look at how you really treat your spouse each day. How many positive actions do you have compared to negative interactions? How do you treat your spouse when you are at your best? What behaviors do you exhibit? How do […]

The Dangers of Not Dealing with Anger

Many people feel guilt about feeling anger. Often, they deny that they ever even become angry. Although being slow to anger is a great quality, denying that you ever even feel angry can have serious consequences. Anger is a feeling just like happiness, sadness, and fear. It isn’t wrong to feel angry. In fact, when […]

Be Open to New Ideas and New Experiences

It’s important to be open to new ideas, new experiences and new adventures during your marriage. If your spouse suggests trying something new, be open minded about it. Trying new things can help you grow together as a couple. People who feel bored with life often make boring partners. Boredom can be a big problem […]

Your Partner Is Passionate About Something And You’re Not

There’s this couple. She sings  in a chorus and he’s a manic baseball fan. She travels around the world with her group and he is a walking encyclopedia of his team.  Can this relationship be saved?  Here are some ideas. The questions you need to ask are in no particular order.  First, ask yourself: Do […]

Listening Non-Defensively

Listening is an important skill for any marriage. Truly listening to your partner requires you to pay close attention to what they are saying without focusing on what you are thinking. This can be very difficult if your feelings are hurt, you disagree with what your partner is saying, or you are angry. Learning how […]

When A Pet Dies…

One of my clients told me recently:  “My girlfriend’s cat died.  She had to put it down.  Both of us couldn’t be there.  But that was a couple of days ago.  And she’s still going on…”  That got me thinking:  how should you and your close ones handle the death of a pet?  Here are […]

Changing Your Description of Your Spouse

What adjectives would you use to describe your spouse? How would you describe his personality? His behaviors? His attitude and outlook on life? The way you view your partner can have a big impact on the marriage. Carl and Ashley had been married for four years. Carl liked things to be neat and orderly, while […]

Your Relationship with Your In-Laws

Building and maintaining a relationship with your spouse’s family requires some work. Research studies show that having a good relationship with your in-laws can make for a happier marriage. If you haven’t had a good relationship with your in-laws, it’s not too late to work on repairing the relationship. Focus on what you have in common […]