Chronic Anger and Irritability 

Some people tend to behave crabby and irritable all the time. They are easily angered and let their frustrations be known. This can have serious negative consequences to all of their relationships, especially their marriage.

People who always seem to be in a bad mood tend to point out minor inconveniences in life. They often feel that their life isn’t fair and the world is against them.  This sort of mindset leads to people looking for evidence that their life is hard.

A spouse who experiences chronic anger tends to complain about everything. And their complaints are often rude and blaming. For example, “why does the neighbor always have to park in my way?” or “Why do you always forget to buy milk at the store?” They may complain about everyone else’s habits in life.

People who tend to be crabby all the time often overlook the good things in life. If they drove for three hours, they only remember the one driver who cut them off. They forget about the other 200 drivers who didn’t. They look at life with a different viewpoint and tend to exaggerate the difficulties.

Living with someone who has chronic anger problems can be very difficult. Spouses in this situation often feel like they can’t win no matter what. It can cause a serious breakdown in the relationship. Communication often suffers. Their partner may spend less time with them due to them being miserable to be around.

People who are chronically irritable and angry can learn new skills to help them change their thoughts and behaviors. Sometimes underlying depression or anxiety can lead to irritability. Medication may be helpful if a person has a chemical imbalance contributing to their mood. Therapy can also help people change their thoughts and behaviors.

Couples counseling can be helpful as well. It is important for the person with anger issues to learn how it is impacting the family. If your spouse tends to be chronically irritable and refuses counseling, consider counseling for yourself. You may be able to learn some new skills to deal with your partner’s moods and behaviors.


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